Dear NASA: Bite me. On Mars.

What does the LRC blog lack? Today I hit on it. We, as far as I know, have no posts quoting the great Kibo, Internet legend and creator of the admittedly false religion Kibology whose purpose seems to be to make fun of everything else and itself.

Herewith is the word of Kibo:According to, President Bush is getting closer to making his
nutty announcement that we have to land astronauts on Mars (I guess he
thinks you just go to the Moon and then go an extra ten feet):

-> White House spokesman Scott McClellan, traveling with the president
-> in Florida, confirmed the announcement will take place next week,
-> and said it would be an outgrowth of a review of the space program
-> that began after the shuttle disaster.

First NASA guy: “Whoops, we killed another crew.”
Second NASA guy: “What should we do about that?”
First NASA guy: “Send some guys to Mars.”

Now, I love all that cool stuff that lives in outer space, and I love
the idea of space exploration. I want to be an astronaut when I grow up.
But not only is landing humans on Mars (and especially returning them
safely) ten kinds of improbable, but the reasons for going are… well…
I’d make fun of them if they existed.

Can we please put NASA to work on giving everyone free satellite TV instead?

— K.

Or at least free TempurPedic mattresses?


6:03 pm on January 10, 2004