The headline reads: “Book of songs used by U.S. Air Force contains horrifying lyrics about rape, pedophilia and homosexuality.” And the headline is accurate. The 130-page songbook contains 70 songs with titles including Pubic Hair, The Kotex Song, Bestiality, and The S&M Man (set to the tune of The Candy Man, it describes sexually mutilating women). The book is bound to look like an official Air Force publication, but the bottom of its pages are labeled “For Unofficial Use Only.”

Hey women: Stay out of the military. You are safer in the midst of a street gang on a dark inner-city street in a large American city.

Hey men: You too. Men get sexually assaulted in the military as well.

Hey Christian: If you have even an ounce of morality, why would you even think of joining the military?

Hey libertarian: Wake up to the nature of the military and quit writing me about how you find my “hatred” of the military disgusting and about how the problem with the military is all the fault of the president and the politicians and not the soldiers themselves.

Hey Americans: the military is an immoral and evil institution, even when it is not killing gooks and ragheads. Quit worshiping it.

Thanks to several people who alerted me to this.

The Best of Laurence M. Vance