Caveat Emptor

December 1, 2016

Entertainers who take themselves and their irrational ideas very seriously offer endless if inadvertent irony. And so we have a critter named “Adam Horovitz — a.k.a. Ad Rock,” apparently a crooner with “The Beastie Boys,” who’s “team[ed] up with vegan shoe company Keep to design a new sneaker…”

A “vegan shoe company.” Hmm. Loafers made from asparagus? Cowboy boots of beets and spinach? Oh, wait, I get it: a “cruelty-free tradition“–though not if you’re a carrot rather than a cow.

At any rate, Mr. Horovitz plans to donate the “net proceeds” of his “vegan sneaker,” manufactured without hurting a single animal, to murderers who butcher humans instead: Planned Parenthood.

Nonsense on a scale this grand wouldn’t be complete without a self-righteous tirade, a gratuitous political swipe, and a whopping dose of economic illiteracy, to wit:

Winter’s cold, and I couldn’t find a warm sneaker to walk around in … Given the outcome of our current election, it’s gonna get a lot colder before we can feel that summer sun again. So I collaborated with my friend Una [Kim, founder of] Keep shoes not just because I wanted warm sneaks, but because I support small business. I support women-run business. I support Asian-American-run business.

Good for Una she’s not a black man, huh? Let us all take a lesson from this paragon of racism and buy products only after we’ve quizzed the seller about his ethnicity, sex, etc.

Meanwhile, Mr. Smug also supports ripping off consumers since his “sneak,” without a shred of leather in it, costs $97. I daresay Bill Martin, who alerted me to this story, won’t be wearing a pair.

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Becky Akers [send her mail] has published two novels of the American Revolution, Halestorm and Abducting Arnold. They celebrate liberty and sedition, among other joys, so buy them now, before they’re banned.