This will seem a bit odd to many readers but, I’ll bet if you think about it, you will agree. It occurs to me that many, if not most of today’s, Americans & British men cannot bring themselves to say, “I’m sorry.”
Even if something is completely their fault, they just can’t say, “I’m sorry.”
I don’t think it used to be this way. But it sure is that way today.
I remember in old movies, especially Westerns, people would say, “It takes a huge amount of courage and guts to admit you were wrong.”
It does take a lot of guts for a man to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”
I’m not sure about western women these days as I never meet any, but it is very sure that American men are known to never say, “Sorry.”
Even the Japanese think so. I have asked many of them. As far as the Japanese are concerned, even if something isn’t your fault, the first thing you would say is, “I’m sorry.”
In many ways, the Japanese do take this “taking responsibility” a bit too far (if you ask me)… Like lopping off their fingers or killing themselves (and I don’t mean virtually). So, I’m not saying Japan doesn’t have warts. But this situation points to a bigger problem in western society.
One time, about 20 years ago, I missed the initial broadcast for a radio station. The broadcast was on a Saturday and I had met the staff two days before but no one said to me, “See you on Saturday!”
Yes, no one said a word to me. But that is just my excuse.
A few days after missing that show (and it was a big deal I missed that show) I had to meet the boss. It was a Japanese guy named Mr. Tada. Mr. Tada had lived in the USA for a few years and spoke English very well. I went to the meeting and the first thing out of my mouth was, “I’m very sorry.” I repeated it several times.
Mr. Tada was so exasperated and surprised and he said to me, “I can’t believe it. An American who says, ‘I’m sorry.’”
I expected Mr. Tada to fire me that day, but he let me keep my job. Why? Because the first thing out of my mouth was, “I’m sorry.” I will never forget that lesson in life.
About 10 some years before that happened, I was working as one of the managers of an English Language company in Tokyo. I don’t recall what had happened but one of the instructors (an American) was in big trouble about something he had done. The upper management wanted to talk to him. I told him, “The first thing out of your mouth must be ‘I’m sorry.” But he arrogantly laughed me off and said, “I’m not going to say that!”
They had their meeting and he was fired. I’ll never forget the look on his face. His face was all red and he looked simply shellshocked when he came out of that meeting. His eyes met mine and I didn’t say it but I thought, “I told you to say, ‘sorry.’ But you just couldn’t do it.”
He was a typical conceited, arrogant American male. He got soon deported because the company revoked his visa.
I have a relative who borrowed money from a different relative. I was asked to mediate (a job I wanted nothing to do with). But mediate I did.
When I came to a decision that was fair, one catch was both parties had to say, “I’m sorry.” One person agreed but the instigator of this entire affair refused to say, “I’m sorry.” I couldn’t believe it. What is the big deal with saying, “Sorry?”
Heck, I didn’t have anything to do with that clusterf*ck and I was sorry it happened.
What happened to the American male who is adult enough, and has the courage to admit he was, even a little bit, wrong?
Is this a trend in American and UK societies? Are people, especially males, so conceited and screwed up that they can’t say, “Sorry?”
Saying sorry isn’t an admission of guilt, it is simply a polite way to try to make amends. It is acting like an adult. Is this too difficult?
Now, we have this Ukraine mess. I read many articles saying, “The Biden Administration cannot and will not say they were wrong.”
What a bunch of little children!
Why can’t that idiot president just go in front of the American public and say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong”? And let’s put an end to this slaughter.
But no, I have known for at least 30 years, American and British men, cannot admit they were wrong. They cannot bring themselves to say, “Sorry.”
So now we slowly walk towards total disaster. Just because a full grown man, and adult cannot stop acting like a child and just say, “Sorry.”