A Gag From High School Finds its Way Into Face Mask Exemptions

There’s something to be said about the wisdom exhibited by a young person who has not yet had their spirit broken into strict obedience by the system of American indoctrination we call schooling.

Before there was such a thing as “trolling” on the Internet, hidden behind a computer screen, a common form of humor was in getting people to fall for things. It was a face-to-face risk taking activity and consequently an esteem builder. Suffering a punch in the nose was entirely within the realm of possibility in such a situation, but when these games worked, it certainly left a lasting slice of esteem in the risk taking prankster who instigated the game.

Made You Look!

“Made you look” was a fun game, of the “gotcha” genre, in which you might get a person to divert their urgent attention to something that wasn’t true, such as telling your high school’s assistant dean of discipline who just got done speaking at the pep rally and is now returning to his seat “Your barn door is open.” As soon as the horror of that hits his psyche, and he assumes some form of standing fetal position, follow that with a robust “Made you look!”

Made You Look 2.0

A variation of that game was to point (either with or without verbalizing, both are effective) to an imaginary splotch of soup on the sternum area of a person’s shirt. As soon as you saw the person grow deflated and look down, you would non-verbally express “made you look” by hurrying your finger up their chest, up to their nose.

Pooh Dollar

Pooh Dollar was an impassioned game by which the prankster treated a Federal Reserve Note with all the respect it deserved, by smearing it with a found bit of dog dropping and placing it pooh-side-down in the middle of a sidewalk. Those passersby who fell for it and picked it up, only to quickly drop it upon realization of the offending substance, were treated to the call of “Pooh Dollar!” by the gang of juveniles lying in wait. The existence of a difficult to surmount barrier between the Pooh Dollar grasper and the Pooh Dollar placers is ideal as no one is feeling charitable after they have “Pooh Dollar!” yelled at them by a congress of cackling delinquents. Face Masks In One Lesson Stevo, Allan Buy New $10.00 (as of 03:17 UTC - Details)

Hermes Energy

This is what author Robert Bly would describe as Hermes energy:

“Hermes is the god of the interior nervous system. His presence amounts to heavenly wit. When we are in Hermes’ field, messages pass with fantastic speed between the brain and the fingertips, between the heart and the tear ducts, between the genitals and the eyes, between the part of us that suffers and the part of us that laughs.

“Hermes is Mercury, and we know that mercury cannot be held in the hand – it rolls everywhere, separates into tiny drops, joins again, falls on the floor, rolls under the table, moves with amazing quickness. It is correctly called quicksilver.

“This mercurial energy is called, among other things, Odin in Northern Europe, Mercury in Italy, Hermes in Greece. Its day of the week is Wednesday (Odin’s Day) and mercredi in France.

“Sometimes when friends are talking in a closed room, the heat of the conversation begins to increase: witty things are said; contributions flow from all sides; leaps of imagination appear; the genuinely spiritual follows an instant after the genuinely obscene. Hermes has arrived. At some beautiful moment of the conversation a silence falls that feels mysterious; everyone hesitates to break it. In Spain until the fifteenth century that silence was called ‘Hermes’ silence.’ (So Lopez-Pedraza says in his fine book on Hermes.)

“The old tradition maintains that true learning does not take place unless Hermes is present. That is depressing, because university English departments, and sociology departments, and religion departments usually get rid of teachers with Hermes energy first. The whole Ph.D. system was created by Germanic Hermes-killers. Hermes is magical, detail-loving, obscene, dancelike, goofy, and not on a career track.

“Hermes slips in true information in that split second between the moment your tongue starts a word and the moment it finishes. You plan to say ‘This is my mother’ and you say ‘This is my wife.’ I did that. My mother looked very pleased. You plan to say ‘farther’ and it comes out ‘father,’ because Hermes moves faster than our thought. What people call a Freudian slip is really a Hermes precision. Hermes punctures pomposity, piety, sureness, and self-satisfaction.”

The Face Mask “Made You Look”

I have no idea if the numerous (I think 5 now) readers who have playfully written me about their need to read lips are entirely sincere in their claims. What I do know is that the stories are really hilarious.

There are people who will put up with all manner of nonsense “for the greater good” and there are people who love to poke and jab at the inflated egos of the powers that be.

Being hard of hearing of course is not hilarious, but being the kind of person who will cleverly use that as part of a gag when someone tells you to wear a face mask is REALLY funny.

What they usually do goes something like this:

They are going about their day, maskless with their full beautiful face showing. A masked compliance checker approaches them speaking to them in a mask. The unmasked person says “What?” The compliance checker repeats. The unmasked person more emphatically says “What?!” The compliance checker, growing a little angry repeats a third time. Then the unmasked person says with a straight face “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you very well, I’m hard of hearing,” while pointing to their ear. After that, they say “I’ll need you to take down your mask if you want to be understood by me.” The compliance checker, formerly bold and a little agitated, suddenly grows very apologetic and again repeats themselves. Having a significant upper hand, the person boldly announces they can’t, they are hard of hearing and storm away, dismissively waiving the compliance checker off.

Those who have read their local face mask orders  may know that many orders contain an exemption for those who must read lips.

To those who are pulling a gag on the world, I commend you. For those who are hard of hearing and standing up for themselves I commend you.

By identifying their boundaries, communicating their boundaries, and defending their boundaries, they are doing a great service to the world.

Thank you!

Face Masks in One Lesson,” a new book by Allan Stevo, is now out and has already become a #1 bestseller in its category at Amazon. It’s also available at Barnes & Noble, Lulu, Apple, and many other platforms in electronic and print format. It debuts at an introductory price of $10 for the upcoming week before increasing to $21.99 on Thanksgiving. The book presents a field-tested, individualized path for face mask non-compliance, based on the experiences of thousands over the course of 2020. It is the greatest available tool for those who vow to never again be forced into compliantly wearing a mask. Bulk orders over 10 copies are available by writing [email protected].