On Hoop Skirts and G.R.I.T.S.

While at my parents house before moving to law school, I ran across a copy of “G.R.I.T.S.” The book serves as a handbook for the behavior of a true southern belle, a set of rules for girls raised in the American south. Seeing that I have never been involved in some of the quintessentially southern activities like debutante or parading around in hoop skirts, I will by no means claim to speak for all of my fellow southern ladies.

Admittedly, I fall short of the majority of suggestions in this book, including the suggestion that “if it takes you less than 30 minutes to get ready, then you shouldn’t be leaving the house at all.” I am, however, a sorority woman and I do know the importance of sweet tea. This, and the fact that I am an Alabamian, born and raised, gives me at least some authority to speak on the south-bashing that has been flooding the media recently.

In the wake of removal of the Confederate flag from public places, an article entitled, “Remove the Southern belle from her inglorious perch” was published in the Washington Post. The article praised the University of Georgia for placing a ban on hoop skirts. How cute of them! When I attended school in Mobile, AL, I had the chance to observe another long-standing southern tradition: the Azalea Trail Maids. This is a group of high school seniors that serve as ambassadors for the city. Upon a quick visit to the organization’s Wikipedia page, it is evident that there has been similar controversy surrounding the organization’s focus on southern traditions, especially when they were invited to represent Alabama at President Barack Obama’s inauguration. The assumption is that such organizations, by virtue of glorifying the historical south, uphold racist cultural endeavors. But the Azalea Trail Maids are racially diverse. So what is the problem? Is it really so hard to believe that black girls might also want to participate in a group that celebrates the antebellum south? I suppose we should place a ban on Gone With the Wind, since both the book and the movie celebrate racism. The bottom line is this: people who are not from the south simply do not fully understand the situation.

While at Spring Hill, I had the pleasure of becoming friends with several former Trail Maids, two of whom happened to be my sorority sisters. I am happy to call them both friend and sister, as they are incredibly wonderful people, epitomizing the characteristics of a true southern belle. Incredibly kind and well mannered, they even have the slight southern accent that serves as the cherry on top. Speaking of sororities, I would also like to take a moment and dispel yet another rumor of southern racism, that there are no black girls in sororities – wrong yet again! There were several girls of different races in our chapter, including black girls. Unlike the stereotyping that has resulted from the Alpha Phi video, not everyone in a sorority in the state of Alabama is thin and blonde. Plus, that video was badass. Who wouldn’t want to float on inflatable swans at the lake and blow glitter into a camera?

Comparing melting pots of the south, such as New Orleans, to Buffalo, New York, makes it evident that cities in the north are significantly less diverse. Buffalo is a city that his highly segregated by income, whereas in New Orleans, you will find locals of all races attending Zulu, the traditionally black parade of Mardi Gras. You will also find all of the locals embracing the rich jazz scene, soaking in the soulful sounds that the Crescent City has to offer. In smaller cities, such as Oxford, MS, you will find yourself experiencing unique perspectives, like that of Anthony Hervey, a black man who hung out around town waving the rebel flag until he was tragically killed recently in a traffic accident. Even in places such as Birmingham, the city I now call home, you will find a civil rights museum where black and white Birmingham natives come together to discuss the problems that racism can cause and how the south has grown since the Civil Rights movement. One thing is certain: our history, the history of all southerners, will not be discarded due to your lack of understanding.

In Moby Dick, Melville wrote, “Ignorance is the parent of fear.” I cannot blame those who criticize our southern traditions, they are simply afraid of what they don’t understand. It can be difficult for a non-southerner to come to terms with some aspects of southern culture – such as a black high school senior willingly parading around in a hoop skirt, sharing the rich antebellum history of her hometown with others. My only response to those who don’t seem to understand is this: Come visit us and stay awhile! Join us for some sweet tea and crawfish boils, maybe then you will understand. Until then, bless your ignorant little hearts.

Reprinted with the author’s permission.