Federal Judge Orders FBI To Release Seth Rich’s Laptop

Thanks, Brian Dunaway. 

1. The contents of Seth Rich’s laptop will be released.

2. No one will question whether or not the integrity of these contents has been compromised during its long possession by the FBI.

3. The laptop will contain shocking video evidence of Hillary Clinton engaged in sickening acts of national betrayal and personal malfeasance.

4. The contents will be available on the internet for all to see.

5. The contents will be vigorously ignored by legacy media.

6. Due to waves of coverage by alternative media, CNN, MSNBC, et al., will be forced to increase their level of coverup activity, noting the content while creepily and compulsively employing the phrase “the debunked conspiracy theory” seventeen times, or casually dismissing it entirely.  

7. During the various evening versions of the two-minutes hate, state sycophants Steve Colbert, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Kimmel, et al., will all laugh wryly and roll their eyes at the ridiculous mouth-breathing right-wing conspiracy nutjobs that could believe such outrageous content is true. The terminally incurious will applaud the hosts on cue.

8. Politicians of all stripes will avoid talking about it, cowering behind weasel words because they are terrified their mainstreamed masochistic constituents won’t vote them back in. 

9. Those that sued the government for the release of content will be persecuted and prosecuted, their lives ruined.

10. These spiritual descendants of Prometheus are left in a dark, damp dungeon tied to Samsonite chairs for all eternity, with Gina Haspel holding a pair of pliers in one hand and a blow torch in another.

11. The focus of all Americans, regardless of their beliefs, will be directed elsewhere, in the direction of any one of a thousand tumbling tumbleweeds in a blizzard of lies.

I’ve seen this movie.