Wall-O-Matic

Are Third World nations refusing to respect you? North Korean missile tests got you down? Is your greatness down in the dumps like it was deja vu 1979 all over again? Well, say no more! Introducing new, from Wall-O-Matic! The Great, Great Beautiful American Wall that will, you guessed it, make America great again—and how! Now, I know what you’re thinking! “How can I afford to build this Great, Great Beautiful American Wall when we’re over twelve trillion dollars in debt?” Say no more! For the special one-time introductory price of $12 billion dollars—that’s right, folks, just twelve billion dollars, plus a small shipping and handling charge—we can begin building the Great, Great, Beautiful American Wall to-day! But wait! There’s more! If you act now, we’ll throw in another executive order banning refugees ab-so-lute-ly free! Still not convinced? What if I told you we’ll also build the biggest and greatest military America has ever seen, too? That’s right, folks, you get it all! The Great, Great Beautiful American Wall, an executive order, and The Biggest And Greatest Military America Has Ever Seen all as one convenient one-stop-shopping package!

Here’s a few praises from our satisfied customers! “Well, the Roman Empire was having a lot of trouble with barbarians painted blue. Wall-O-Matic built us two walls and look where we are today! Thank YOU Wall–O-Matic!” Here’s another letter! “We had trouble with pesky Germans coming into our yard and starting a world war. Wall-O-Matic built us the Maginot Magic Fortress! Thanks Wall-O-Matic!” Here’s a word from another happy past customer! “We wanted to hold on to our gains while making sure no one left without permission. We didn’t know how affordable the Berlin Wall was until Wall-O-Matic let us test-drive a section for free. Gosh, all that and guard towers, too! Wall-O-Matic, we couldn’t have done it without you!” And who could forget this great customer! “Our Great Wall of China can be seen from space! Wow! Thanks Wall-O-Matic!”

Operators are standing by! Don’t wait! Why settle for anything less than great? The Great, Great Beautiful American Wall! From Wall-O-Matic, a subsidiary of Govern-Matic the great folks who also brought you countless wars, various world empires, the Junta-Of-The-Month Club, and the World Despot Commemorative Plate Collection! Govern-Matic—Making Red Tape Great Since The First Ziggurat Was Built! Don’t delay! Order today! Shipping and handling not included.

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