All Rise for the National Anthem

In response to Yet Again Proving Its TOTAL Uselessness, Mark Higdon writes that he “loves” the idea of musically mocking the TSA’s pervs as they sexually assault us. But rather than singing “God Bless America,” as Eric Morris does, he was “inspired … to compose the following… To the tune of our National Anthem…”

Oh-oh say, have you seen

T-S-A’s screening fiends?

Groping high, groping low

And especially in-between.

 

With blue gloves and blue shirts

They resemble the Smurfs.

But the Smurfs are polite

And do not molest the serfs.

 

And the hands down my pants

Won’t find London or France

Let alone the device

They’ve already missed twice.

 

For I am the inspector of

T-S-A secure procedures.

Once again, they’ve failed the test.

And I grade them “The Best!”

Yep, that whirring you hear is poor Francis Scott Key spinning in his grave—not at Mark’s revision of his lyrics but at the atrocities and despotism Americans tolerate from their rulers.

The Best of Becky Akers