Paging Dr. Strangelove, Please Call Your Office

Wow, so Trump’s not going to spend us into oblivion, huh? Looks like the stocks for aerospace are fixin’ to go up! Trump says we need to build more nuclear weapons. I guess the 2,600 we’ve got aren’t sufficient to blow up the world enough times.

“I am the first one that would like to see everybody – nobody have nukes, but we’re never going to fall behind any country even if it’s a friendly country, we’re never going to fall behind on nuclear power. It would be wonderful, a dream would be that no country would have nukes, but if countries are going to have nukes, we’re going to be at the top of the pack,” Trump said.

By golly, if the Russians can blow up the world fifteen times, we better be able to blow up the world at least twenty times! How’s it going to look, with the world reduced to dust and knowing it was all for nothing because the Russians destroyed the planet better than we did? That’s simply not American! How can we look in the mirror knowing we can only destroy the planet to the tune of twelve times over and someone else can do it fifteen? That’s embarrassing! Every American ought to be proud to pay more taxes so we can close this Planetary Destruction Gap! To say nothing of the Weapons Terror Factor we’ve fallen behind on! Our PDG is WTF! Every good American knows that! How did we lose sight of the fact that we need to be able to kill every living thing on this planet? I know that if the air raid sirens ever start wailing, all good Americans will be saying, “I hope that it’s our bombs that destroy the world or I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight!”


3:35 pm on February 23, 2017