Are you wondering if it’s a good idea to give your kid the COVID shot? I know there’s an ocean of mis/dis/mal/information out there to navigate, so I’ve compiled this handy list of reasons you’ll want to rush your child to the nearest injection site stat.
50 Reasons to Give Your Child the COVID Shot
1) Your child wants to play a real-life guinea pig.
3) You weighed the zero-mortality rate and microscopic risks of serious complications from COVID to children and thought, why not increase the likelihood of being hospitalized by 74 percent, being injured by twenty-five times, and dying by twenty times?
7) You believe informed consent is passé.
9) You think life is boring and want to spice it up with some tragedy.
10) You’d like add to the 54,697 adverse event reports received for children (out of 1,394,703 reports) through August 26, 2022, for conditions such as encephalitis, Bell’s palsy, aneurysms, cerebral hemorrhage, myocarditis, thrombocytopenia, Guillain-Barré syndrome, appendicitis, heart disease, and death.
12) You think your toddler would benefit from periodic seizures.
13) You believe less than a month of efficacy after the second dose is worth giving your teen myocarditis.
15) You want to keep protecting manufacturers from liability once their emergency use authorizations expire thanks to Reagan’s 1986 National Childhood Vaccine Act, which gives them a pass as long as the product is administered to kids.