The Church of Covid

The plandemic has unleashed poltroons, fiends and mountebanks on us, but few are more contemptible than Parson Goat.

Why? Because we expect evil from politicians and bureaucrats. Tony “Can’t Keep My Story Straight” Falsi behaves according to his nature; anyone who trusts this lifelong Marxist is as ludicrous a fool as he is. Ditto for the other bureaucrats in “Public Health.”

As for that roll of criminals ranging from Governor “Nuisance” Newsom in Californiastan through “Killer” Cuomo in The People’s Democratic Republic of New York, they’re politicians. ‘Nuff said.

But Parson Goat—graduate of seminary, preacher of the Word of God, supposedly devoted to Jesus Christ and His Gospel—well, much was given him, and so we require much from him.

Alas, he’s failed to deliver. To us and to the Lord, that is.

But he’s cooperated handsomely with Our Rulers to spread COVIDCon ever since he closed God’s house in direct violation of Scripture. Then, when politicians permitted him to re-open, he forced his sheep[le] to muzzle themselves, despite the Bible’s injunction to honor differing convictions.

Now comes his worst offence, if that’s possible: he’s turning our churches into Jab Joints.

All to enthusiastic if demonic applause from the corporate media: “…perhaps no one has been more effective at reaching older Black Virginians than pastors, preaching the lifesaving benefits of immunizations from the pulpit.” Yeah, why waste time on the Gospel when you can spout Marxist propaganda instead? One cleric even blasphemes “the blood of a lamb that kept the angel of death away” at Passover—and prefigured our Savior—by comparing it to The Jab: “This vaccine could be seen as putting blood on the doorpost,” he said. “We’re hoping and praying to get this plague to move on.” (Seriously, Buddy? I guess we can lay the myth of “systemic racism” to rest once and for all if you’ve led such a cushy life you dignify the flu as a “plague.”)

Meanwhile, “Many across the state have run a boots-on-the-ground campaign to inform eligible churchgoers about vaccination opportunities. … Where convention centers have been intimidating or too far from neighborhoods with the most vulnerable people, Black clergy have offered their churches as vaccine clinics.” Isn’t that just-oh,-so-glorifying-God of them?

This wickedness isn’t unique to Virginia. Detroit’s black churches have also caved, as have Florida’s.

But who’s surprised? Far too many black chapels are nothing more than political clubs that meet on Sundays. Far too many white ones are as well, especially those touting themselves as “mainline.” But though “evangelical” sanctuaries were as tax-exempt and 501(c)3 as the mainline, they at least made a pretense of worshipping Christ.

Until Coronapocalypse. Then evangelical doors slammed as resoundingly as anyone else’s. So the fact that “Bible-believing, Bible-preaching” congregations are now joining the Jab Jamboree shouldn’t shock us.

“We have been busy repurposing our wonderful facility to be a beacon of hope,” an email from one Parson Goat warbles, as if the “beacon” dimmed when it merely dispensed the Gospel rather than toxic shots. Then again, this church bought COVIDCon wholesale, forcing parishioners to wear masks and shun one another, desecrating Communion, urging obsessive hand-washing, etc. So its lamp flickered out long ago.

But I interrupted our apostate: “… We have been hosting regular COVID Vaccine Clinics on our campus (PLEASE get a vaccine!) …”

Parson Goat is never more infuriating than when he dabbles in politics. First off, he’s almost always illiterate in the subject; I’ve never met the cleric who can morally distinguish taxation from theft or explain why bureaucrats may properly steal from us but we sin if we rob them.

Second, Goats are intractable in their ignorance.

But we’ll give this heretic the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s obtuse rather than crooked—so obtuse he hasn’t considered his culpability when The Jab’s victims begin dying, losing vision, suffering paralysis, and convulsing. Yo, Parson: the government granted Big Pharma an exemption from liability—which leaves you as the chump holding the bag.

Back to the Goat’s communique: “By now, I’m sure you’ve heard of Governor DeWine’s lifting of COVID restrictions. Thank you, Jesus!”

Whew! I’d be careful about blaming the Lord for my cowardice: Parson Goat ought feel no relief at the “lifting of restrictions” because he never should have obeyed them in the first place.

“…this is the next phase in our increasing recovery from Covid, and we will respond in an efficient and effective manner that serves our mission. For now, if you’re still concerned about gathering again, our online community continues to be the best way you can engage in the ministry…”

Does this church also ask attendees for their preferred pronouns? Because it certainly doesn’t uphold truth. Coddling people who’ve cottoned onto a lie, indulging fallacies and deception, eviscerates the Bible’s unwavering commitment to reality.

A great many whoppers prevailed when Christ walked the earth. For example, most folks believed the Pharisees’ claims of their own righteousness. They respected these “whited sepulchers” and figured if anyone could earn God’s favor, the Pharisees had. Yet Jesus frequently disabused His audiences of this error—and none too gently, either.

Why aren’t His modern disciples likewise insisting on truth rather than catering to error?

Parson Goat’s twaddle does contain one useful item: a link to an article reporting American churches’ reactions to the scamdemic. “A total of 421 churches” answered Christian Standard’s questionnaire; of those, “almost two-thirds of churches (62 percent) applied for and received federal funds through the Paycheck Protection Program (PPP), part of the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act.”

Explains a lot about the corruption of “evangelical” Christianity, doesn’t it? This final hold-out against the Marxism that long ago devastated mainline denominations had to be neutralized before communists could complete their conquest of America. Rather than battle head-to-head, they bribed their way to the altar.

Predictably, Our Rulers rewarded those churches who’ve most consolidated; concentrating “Christians” in a few “megachurches” renders them easier to manipulate: “Those most likely to receive these forgivable loans were emerging megachurches (83 percent); very small churches were the least likely to receive a loan (21 percent). Interestingly, churches that did not receive PPP funds were more likely to see total giving meet or exceed their budget last year (77 percent) than churches that received PPP funds (65 percent).”

Hmmmm. Sounds as if God fulfilled His promises to provide for those trusting Him rather than princes.

“…the average very small church held more in-person worship services (40 weekends) than any other church size category last year. By comparison, the average megachurch met in-person only 33 weekends.”

Most of us suspected this, didn’t we?

By the time of our survey, in-person attendance had recovered to 51 percent of its pre-COVID-19 levels. Very small churches have seen the greatest rebound of in-person worship attendance, with an average of 62 percent of attendees returning. Megachurches experienced the smallest rebound of in-person worship, with just over a one-third (35 percent) returning.”

Parson Goat bears this out, even if his church falls between those two extremes. He brags, “We have invested many resources and made significant strides in the breadth and quality of our online ministry since COVID began. Thousands more are now being reached because of this. We are now a global ministry with local outreach.”

So is the Communist Party.