Lobbyists From Hell

If you’re like me, the speed and uniformity with which churches nationwide imploded midway through March stunned you. How was it that one week we worshipped as usual—though the pastor forbid us to shake hands; I rolled my eyes but OK, the silly “elbow-bump” it was—and the next week, sans any consultation with congregants, Parson Goat shut his doors? Nor did he have the courage to inform us of this radical step in person, relying instead on emails and phone calls.

Many of us didn’t take his betrayal lying down. We’ve contacted Parson Goat and, when our appeals fell on deaf ears, our fellow parishioners, too, in an effort to re-open our churches. And to our further astonishment, folks we considered devout followers of the Lord Jesus resist our attempts to recall them to their Scriptural duties. No one answers either our reasoned arguments for obeying God and defying the State, nor the proof we present that coronapocalypse is a hoax. Instead, Parson Goat accuses us of “stirring up dissent” (well, yeah, Parson, what else can we do when you decided so foolishly?) and “questioning his authority” (bingo) before lapsing into silence. He and his congregation now ignore us, to our dismay and bewilderment.

Halestorm Akers, Becky Buy New $8.57 (as of 10:30 UTC - Details) Puzzle over this no more, dear reader: one of my sources alerted me to an explanation for such baffling behavior. Turns out we’re wrestling not against clerical arrogance and stubbornness alone “but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Namely, “Christian” political lobbyists who glibly convinced Parson Goat to herd his flock down Leviathan’s primrose path.

Meet the “Citizens for Community Values” of Columbus, Ohio. (Your state likely has an equivalent, even if only the local chapter of Focus on the Family, the Alliance Defending Freedom, or the Family Research Council.) CCV claims to “[seek] the good of our neighbors throughout Ohio by advocating for public policy that reflects the truth of the Gospel.” Sounds wholesome, doesn’t it?—even though they rely on the State and its compulsion rather than the Holy Spirit to reform people.

And it gets better: “We believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing God and His perfect Word for us, the Bible. Through education, communication, partnerships and direct action, we reach citizens, churches and policy makers…” “Reach” might not be the correct word there: “propagandize Amerikans and churches into compliance with godless policy makers” more accurately describes CCV’s “mission.”

It’s one they’ve fulfilled superbly these last months. Indeed, lest COVID19 go to waste, they created the “Joseph Council.” Its “Strategy & Purpose, In response to the coronavirus crisis,” is to “[disseminate] credible information and updates from the Ohio Department of Health about the spread of the virus to churches and ministries.” No doubt everyone on this “Council” has earned a degree in piling the Propaganda high and Deep.

Master Manipulator: Th... James Ottar Grundvig Best Price: $14.15 Buy New $17.78 (as of 05:25 UTC - Details) Among other evils, “Joseph” offers “Resources and answers from State Agencies to the questions from churches, ministries, pregnancy centers, adoption agencies, and others.” They’re apologists for anti-social distancing, too: “Social distancing is hard, but it doesn’t mean communal prayer needs to end. Check here for upcoming Faith Friday Calls, and other prayer initiatives.” Those “initiatives” include beseeching the Lord on behalf of cops (what, that God will perfect their aim when shooting us?), “Government Officials” (“Lord, please bless them as they destroy our liberty, society, and economy…”) and “Social Service Agencies providing Food, Clothing and Shelter”—seemingly without concern that these bureaucracies operate on stolen funds and that they have usurped the Church’s role in ministering to the needy.

Perhaps CCV even prompted the conference calls from Governor DeWack convincing Ohio’s clergy en masse to cancel Mass. These snakes in the grass clearly believe in “telephone ministry”: a weekly “Faith Friday Conference Call” (yes, I’ll wait while you grab a barf-bag) inculcates idolatry of government. They advertised the call for May 1 via email: “This week, John Wootton of the Ohio Ministry Network will be joining CCV President Aaron Baer for a conversation on Guidelines for Re-engaging in Public Worship. …” —and I assure you, those “guidelines” emanate not from Scripture but from the State. Participants also receive “a weekly update from Director Michele Reynolds, Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives.” To fully raise our hackles, the emblem of that “Office” adorns the communique.

CCV also helpfully supplies a transcript of the preceding week’s chat (and, if you’ve the stomach for it, prior ones as well). “Holy” rhetoric sprinkles the dialogue (CCV: “What have you been thinking through and praying while in a leadership position?” Guest: “Recognize how people are created differently by God … watching … the opportunities that God has opened up in the midst of the pandemic… I’m like a lot of people–God is showing me what’s important and what’s not…” Wow: notice the implication that worshipping corporately in person is unimportant).

Abducting Arnold Akers, Becky Best Price: $15.95 Buy New $19.95 (as of 10:35 UTC - Details) “God-talk” sugar-coats a heavy dose of propaganda from another guest, an “Executive General Council for First Liberty Institute.” This bozo deftly switches his audience’s concerns—if any there be—about government’s shackling of churches to increasing by an inch or two the chains’ length: he analyzes a case “defending” drive-in services in parking lots. Clever, the underlying presumption that this “new normal” equates to gathering in the sanctuary and that Christians therefore will not only deplore “attacks” on it but rise to its defense.

He refers preachers to the CDC several times and even emphasizes, “Our job has always been to comply with CDC guidelines.” Fathom that, if you will. The “CDC promotes sodomy, transgenderism, and homosexual pedophilia,” as I wrote to the lobbyists several days ago while researching this story; why, then, would an allegedly “Christian” organization endorse this agency? Especially when CCV got its start by battling private pornographers.

My email also noted, “The evidence that the media and government have vastly exaggerated COVID19, that it’s really only flu and far less lethal than politicians and bureaucrats want us to believe, is overwhelming. And yet you advise churches how to cater to those falling for this lie rather than telling them the truth. Why? Would you advise churches to call a boy who’s had cosmetic surgery to remove his sexual organs a girl? If not, why not? Why encourage belief in one lie but not the other?”

As usual, such unanswerable logic went unanswered.
“Finally,” I wrote, “the closing of churches at the behest of politicians is unprecedented—yet you seem to be laying the groundwork for this to become a regular routine each time another ‘pandemic’ threatens, and government certainly is hinting at this. Why are you cooperating in this scam when you purport to stand for Christians?” Good-Bye Germ Theory: ... Trebing, Dr. William P Best Price: $36.69 Buy New $14.00 (as of 04:04 UTC - Details)

Alas, CCV has not replied, apart from a formatted response acknowledging receipt.

Why have I belabored you with the sordid tale of these hypocrites? Because we must understand the enemy seeking to destroy Christ’s Church. Much transpires behind the scenes that none of us suspects; the Serpent slithers up to Parson Goat and whispers in his ear via Leviathan’s liaison, the CCV. Parson Goat’s blind allegiance to a misinterpretation of Romans 13 had already weakened him; his refusal to heed the Bible’s many warnings against political government laid him on the ropes. Then CCV with its deceptive mix of truth and lies—always Satan’s hallmark—landed an uppercut.

No wonder Parson Goat lies prostrate at government’s feet.