If there’s one thing Democrats and Republicans can agree upon, it’s war. Both of them never saw a war they didn’t like unless the other party started it, it’s going badly, and it’s an election year. Have a look at this.
Yes, one of the sponsors is THAT Senator Tim Kaine, you know, the VP candidate on the Hillary 2016 ticket. The Republicans must all be slapping their foreheads now, saying, “It’d have been easier to get into a war with Hillary at the helm! Who knew?!” Senator Jeff Flake, yeah, he’s from here in Arizona. Our politicians love war. One, Congressperson Martha McSally, is a former air force pilot. You all know John McCain, right? This is the price you pay with several military bases here in Arizona. See, those are all “good jobs” for the civilian personnel on those bases. Sometimes, Tucson sounds like how it must have sounded in North Vietnam during the U.S. air war there, except for the explosions. Operation Rolling Hearing Loss continues merrily along in the skies of Tucson.
Gee, how touching! They want to declare war this time as opposed to just start bombing and worry about legality later. Okay, but who will they send the declaration of war to? ISIS is a non-state entity. What, will they just Twitter it out and hope ISIS cadre picks it up? In reality, what they better understand is this: When it’s a non-state entity, you can’t sign a cease-fire with them, either. Therefore, how will the U.S. exit this war, since cease-fires are its preferred route to getting someone else to take over the payments?
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Perhaps they could select a good country that has lots of oil, uh, I mean is an ISIS hotbed and fight them there. Remember that strategy? “We have to fight them over there so we don’t have to fight them over here…” Hey, that one worked during the Vietnam War, too, from what I was told. George W. Bush probably heard that one from LBJ’s ghost prowling the White House for a bowl of chili. Of course, George couldn’t tell us where he heard it. People might think he was “choking on pretzels” again or something.
I’m guessing some defense contractors are looking at their quarterly statements and saying, “This doesn’t look good…get our politicians on the phone.” But let’s keep in mind the U.S. government has technically been fighting ISIS via an air war for a few years now and we haven’t seen the “For Sale” sign up at ISIS, Inc. so far. Let’s also not forget the United States government could not find Osama bin Laden for several years, has not defeated al-Qaida for these 15 years plus tax since 9/11, and didn’t even defeat the Taliban over in Afghanistan where the U.S. military still remains today. And now they want to mortgage our future in order to buy the ISIS Boardwalk piece on the World Monopoly board?! Excuse me, but say what?!
Oh, I get it. I understand it perfectly. Everyone was hoping the government would do “something” about the economy. Well, you got it! How about a war to provide the reasons you’re getting poorer? Oh, beg pardon, make sacrifices for the war effort. I suppose we’ll need to send more troops into Iraq—again. That place is like doing the Hokey-Pokey: “You put your armored division in, you take your armored division out…you put your armored division in, and you shake it all about…you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn your exit strategy around…that’s what it’s all about!”
I suppose ISIS feels real threatened by this, since the threat comes from a nation that hasn’t won a major war since 1945. Those who became ISIS were actually there when the U.S. was getting hammered relentlessly in Iraq from 2004-2008 and the U.S. government sat up there and lied about Iraq having plunged into a civil war. “Why, of course it’s not a civil war! There isn’t an Iraq Civil War Chess Set out for it!” Even if ISIS gets the declaration of war, they’ll just shove it into the recycle bin along with all the other junk mail. “Junk mail…junk mail…declaration of war from America…junk mail…nothing but junk mail!! Hey, anyone seen if my copy of Gourmet Cooking Quarterly has arrived yet?”
Ah, well, at least we now know what to expect: Another war. I guess we’re about overdue for one. You know, the sticker on the windshield of the car says we’re already 2,000 miles past our regime-change and lube mileage reminder. We have to be careful going over that. The warranty on the government might be voided.