O Come, All Ye Statists

Perhaps the timing is merely more of government’s stunning incompetence, with a bureaucrat somewhere mistaking September 1 for September 11. Or perhaps the State’s officiates are already preparing as one of their holiest days approaches, much as Christians meditate during Lent. At any rate, last Thursday, September 1, “Transportation Security Administration officials from Washington Dulles International Airport” held a “ceremony,” during which they “unveiled a memorial piece of limestone taken from the Pentagon following the terrorist attack on Sept. 11, 2001.”

This bit of rubble, “measuring 31 inches long, 13 inches deep, 4 inches high and weighing 110 pounds,” looks curiously pristine in pictures. (One report claims, “The stone shows damage from the attack…,” but I don’t see it. My favorite shot shows the TSA’s thugs apparently mistaking it for the Holy Grail, so avidly are they photographing it). No doubt, we are to infer that this icon hails from the damaged area of the Pentagon, just as we are to believe that terrorists would attack the ol’ Homeland but for Our vigilant, valiant Rulers. Yet the debris’ Abducting Arnold Becky Akers Best Price: $14.66 Buy New $18.93 (as of 02:05 EST - Details) immaculate appearance belies that implied history. Indeed, so spotless is it that one heretic asks, “What is the significance of this piece of limestone? … Is every piece of masonry that was left after 9/11 significant?” Let’s hope this guy goes to ground before the Warriors on Terror find and burn him at the stake.

Sometime prior to the “ceremony,” “the piece of limestone made its trip from the Pentagon to Dulles International Airport” with only a bit less reverence than the Ark of the Covenant did to Jerusalem. Preston Mika, “a Transportation Security Administration analyst who was just 11 years old the day of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks” “accompanied” it, “carefully wrapped in blankets and nestled” “in the back seat of a four-door sedan” while “his partner, Stephen Diggs”—not sure if that’s a professional or personal partner in crime—“drove slowly and deliberately, avoiding any bumps or potholes that could unintentionally jostle the stone…”

Are we dealing with morons or what? For pity’s sake, they’re hauling limestone. Breaking it requires quite some effort. The “partners” can hit all the potholes their lazy god, the State, doesn’t repair, but they won’t further damage this detritus.

Back at Dulles, Preston “gathered with fellow TSA employees” for the aforementioned “ceremony to dedicate the piece…” Alas, Preston, like his fellow dimwits, “grew emotional as he recalled his role in bringing it to its permanent home. ‘It was nerve-racking, but it was an honor,’ said Mika…”

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If my eyes roll much more, I’m gonna strap some skates on ‘em.

Naturally, “opening remarks” at the “ceremony” afforded the Warriors another opportunity to prove how dead drunk they are on federal Kool-Aid. “Bobby Humphrey, TSA manager” intoned, “We are proud that TSA here at Washington Dulles International Airport has been selected to house such an artifact as part of our memorial … Our employees can look at this historic relic”—as relic-y as the Shroud of Turin, Bobby? Or even more so? After all, it glorifies the almighty Amerikan Empire rather than a mere Savior—“and be reminded of their loyalty and no matter how hard their mission may be, they must never falter in their vigil.”

The delusion astounds, doesn’t it? Sexually assaulting passengers, stealing their stuff, harassing and delaying them—this is the TSA’s “mission,” and a “hard” one, too.

At least Bobby didn’t succumb to the thoroughly revolting trend of male bawling. Oh, wait, I spoke too soon: “while choking back tears,” li’l Bob announced, “I joined TSA to protect this county. So, to look on that piece knowing that what I’m doing is safeguarding our citizens — is very important…” Again confusing gate-rape with protecting the serfs. Wow, but that Kool-Aid is some powerful firewater.

And here comes Preston, out to prove he’s as girly and delusional as Bobby. “’I joined the TSA to protect this country,’ he said, his voice cracking slightly.” What is it with these perverts, that they equate pawing our privates with security?

Meanwhile, if you’re flying out of Dulles on The Day Itself , build time into your schedule for “the traditional moment of silence taken every Sept. 11 at Dulles Airport since the terrorist attack.” Nor is “Federal Security Director Scott Johnson” any less hallucinatory than his accomplice, Li’l Bobby Snotnose: “Every year,” Scott alleges, “every passenger I talk to appreciates that minute taken out of their busy day…” Halestorm Becky Akers Best Price: $11.99 Buy New $11.77 (as of 02:05 EST - Details)

Yeah, Scott, I’m sure they do. Why rush to make a plane after the TSA has already impossibly delayed us when instead we can waste even more of our time on your folderol? I don’t suppose the fact that you “talk to” passengers who are spread-eagled while your goons probe their orifices accounts for the lack of dissent you hear, now, does it? Or the knowledge that said goons “detain” those who object to this “patriotism” into missing their flights?

Unfortunately, “Dulles Airport Manager Christopher Browne” indulged in sentimental reflections about “[hearing] the impact of Flight 77 as it careened into the west wall of the Pentagon” and “the Pentagon’s smoke plume drift[ing] onto the airport.” Then he warned, “…when the voices from witnesses like me one day fall silent, our personal recollections will become a distant tale.” Huh? “If we are not deliberate in preserving and honoring the memories from that day, they will be forgotten and lost to history we cannot let that happen.” Why not? Let’s hope that such bathetic twaddle is indeed “lost to history” so the real story of the Feds’ unspeakably wicked false flag can at last triumph over tawdry nationalism.

Browne calls the slab “a hallowed remnant.” “Hallowed” is a pretty big word for someone with an IQ low enough to swallow the TSA’s balderdash. So perhaps he doesn’t realize it means “regarded as holy; venerated; sacred.”

Or maybe he does, which makes him and the whole 9/11 con even scarier.