Thinking On Your Feet: How to Answer Difficult Questions

“Why didn’t Acme Co. accept our offer?”

“Why should I hire you over somebody else?”

“Where do you see this relationship going?”

“Where do babies come from?”

Questions. Sometimes they’re as innocuous as “What’s up?” and other times they get our hearts pumping and our mouths stuttering.

Part of being a man is knowing how to improvise, and part of improvisation is being able to think on your feet. It’s a skill that includes the ability to give impromptu remarks, as well as to answer Thinking On Your Feet:... Marian K. Woodall Best Price: $7.58 Buy New $14.89 (as of 06:55 UTC - Details) unexpected and difficult questions.

People ask pointed questions to obtain information, but there are often other reasons behind their queries as well. What they really want, in many cases, is to get a feel for your attitude towards a certain subject, and how calm, confident, and trustworthy you seem.

So the ability to answer difficult questions is built on two tenets: 1) possessing ample knowledge and giving the right information, and 2) delivering that information in a poised manner.

The number of potential questions you might be asked is so infinite and context-specific that it’s not possible to learn a scripted response for each. But it is possible to hone your improvisation skills by learning methods that will allow you to give a smooth answer, no matter what you’re asked.

These methods come from the surprisingly handy Thinking on Your Feet by Marian K. Woodall and we’ll be sharing them with you today.

The Overarching Plan: Always Buy Yourself More Time

When someone aims a question our way, we’re tempted to jump on it as if it’s a live grenade. We fear that even a bit of silence will be read as hesitation, and perhaps even shiftiness. So we rush in…only to be forced to stick our feet in our mouths.

The answer you blurt out on impulse is unlikely to be the best response, and you’ll kick yourself later while mulling over the things you wished you had said. How to Get Your Point ... Frank, Milo O. Best Price: $0.25 Buy New $3.86 (as of 02:25 UTC - Details)

So the biggest thing you can do to improve your responses to difficult questions is to buy yourself more time to come up with answers. Even a few extra nanoseconds gives your brain a chance to do a little more processing and pull out the pertinent information and needed words.

Allowing yourself a tiny pause to collect your thoughts is completely fine. Just don’t fill that gap with an “Uhhh…” or “Ummm…” which makes you sound halting and unsure. A moment of silence, on the other hand, will lend you a thoughtful air.

You can also repeat the question before launching into your answer. Speaking the question and then the answer offers a fuller response; it also helps others in a large audience who may not have heard the question when it was first asked.

In addition to embracing the silent pause or repeating the question, there are other techniques that will not only buy yourself extra processing time, but have other benefits as well. Let’s take a look at how they work.

Dealing With Vague, Complex Questions: The Art of Getting a Better Question

Questions come in many forms, and you’re not always lucky enough to get the short, clear, focused variety; sometimes, you’re presented with a vague, complex, rambling, and downright Improvise This!: How t... Cox, Molly Best Price: $3.50 Buy New $14.90 (as of 09:15 UTC - Details) impenetrable query.

Don’t guess at what information the inquirer is looking for; misinterpreting their question may end up causing offense, or at least invoking an irritable response: “That’s not what I asked you.”

The much more effective approach is to clarify the question — to essentially get yourself a better one — before giving your response. This will not only make the question easier to answer, but will create a delay that gives your brain more time to think.

Woodall recommends several ways to nudge the inquirer into giving you a better, easier-to-handle question:

1. Ask them to repeat the question.

Just as you often wish you could take back an answer, people frequently wish they could reword their question because they aren’t happy with how it came out. Here you give them the chance for a do-over. Their second take is likely to be shorter, clearer, and more focused than the first.

Asking to have a question repeated has something of a formal air; I suppose we associate it with job interviews or courtrooms or something. So keep in mind that this is a tactic which is more natural in professional settings than casual conversation.

  • “Would you mind repeating the question? I want to make sure I got all of it.” Thinking on Your Feet:... Woodall, Marian K. Best Price: $2.04 Buy New $8.49 (as of 07:00 UTC - Details)

2. Ask for clarification.

If a question is vague and/or all over the place, respond with a question of your own that seeks to clarify and specify what the seeker is trying to get at. Which product is he referring to? What timeframe does she have in mind? Which aspect of something are they thinking about?

  • “There are several different insurance packages available. Which one were you interested in specifically?”
  • “Motivation is a broad subject. Is there something in particular you’re looking for advice on?”
  • “The subject of tax reform is quite complex. Is there an area that you’d particularly like me to address?

An especially effective way to focus the question is by asking the inquirer to select between choices:

  • “Are you concerned about the sales numbers for 2013 or 2014?”
  • “Was it what I said to you before the party or in the car afterwards that made you upset?”

3. Ask for a definition.

Even when everyone is using the same words, they can mean different things to different people. To avoid talking past each other, ask the questioner how they define key words in their inquiry. Check Amazon for Pricing.

  • “Before I answer that, can you tell me what you mean by ‘negligent?’”
  • “I’m totally open to this discussion, but before we have it, tell me what it means to you for us to be ‘officially dating.’”

Woodall points out that when someone has asked a question with the purpose of cornering you, asking them to define their terms can turn the tables and stump the stumper. For example, someone may ask, “Why do you think hunting is manly?” To which you reply, “Well, first of all, how do you define manliness?” Oftentimes, the person isn’t actually sure what they’re asking, in which case they may either withdraw the question, or, tangle themselves up in such knots that the original question is forgotten. If they do come up with a definition, well, now you’re both on the same page, and you gained extra time to think about your response.

4. Clarify or define a point yourself.

One way to take greater control of an interaction is to define the question as you see it within your response:

  • “Why was your pitch to Acme Co. a failure?”
    • “If by failure, you mean that nothing good came out of it, then I don’t think it was. We didn’t connect on this deal, but we established a good relationship and they’re open to future projects.”
  • “Why are you going out with her if we’re dating?”
    • “Dating simply means that we see each other regularly, not that we’re in an exclusive relationship.”

The downside of asserting your own definition of things is that the other party may not see it that way, and may become frustrated by your response.

Read the Whole Article