Scary in-Flight Announcements: What you don't Want to Hear From your Pilot

As a Monarch pilot is criticised for uttering the words "watery grave" to passengers, Telegraph readers share other tales of terrifying announcements

British holidaymakers were left “traumatised” last week after a Monarch pilot told them that a technical problem could have led them to “a quick, watery grave”.

The comments were made after a flight from the Caribbean was delayed for 24 hours due to a problem with the reverse thrusters. As passengers boarded the following day, the pilot also reportedly compared the fault to one that caused the Lauda Air crash in 1991 that killed all 213 passengers on board.

“We always encourage pilots to give regular and open updates to our customers,” said Monarch Airlines in a statement: “On this occasion, during one update, he used an inappropriate choice of words and has expressed his regret in doing so.”

The incident followed a Southwest Airlines flight in November, during which a pilot declared “We’re in trouble, we’re going down” when alerted to a problem. The plane landed safely, despite the warning.

Last year Telegraph Travel published an article in its Travel Truths series entitled “Would you be told if your plane was going down?” Patrick Smith, a pilot, explained that “passengers will be told about any emergency or serious malfunction. And most nonserious ones too.”

He added: “If you’re informed about a landing gear issue, pressurization problem, engine trouble, or the need for a precautionary landing, do not construe this to be a life­or-death situation. It’s virtually always something minor – though you’ll be kept in the loop anyway. With even an outside chance of an evacuation in mind, you have to be kept in the loop.”

Perhaps more eye-opening, however, were the comments left on the article by readers detailing the most worrying crew announcements they have heard on board a flight. Here are some of the best.

1. “Returning home to Aberdeen on a wet and windy Friday afternoon, the pilot explained, ‘Good afternoon gentlemen. You will have noticed that it’s a bit hairy in the skies and the wind is against us. We require a steep take off out of here and it will be tricky but hold on to your seats, it’s Friday night and I’ve got a wedding reception to go to. Over and out’.”

2. Sitting quietly on a flight to Helsinki with my boss (a terrified flyer at the best of times) the pilot made an announcement in Finnish that made all the Finns sit up and take note. He then repeated in laconic English:‘Ladies and gentlemen we shall be making an unscheduled landing and steep approach to Tampere airport, the plane is on fire, thank you’. We then make a Stuka-like approach to Tampere and a safe landing. It was only smoke in the cockpit. My boss did try to get me to hire a car and drive him back to the UK though.”

3. “Ten seconds after take off at full thrust we felt a loss of power and then detected the smell of burnt metal. The captain announced: ‘Would the lead steward please come to the flight deck… immediately’. The steward duly attended and then walked towards the back of the plane with her head skewed firmly to the port side. Once past the wing, she stared at the engine, returned to the cockpit and closed the door. There were several more trips back and forth and people started to panic. It turned that a birdstrike had completely fried the engine. We returned to the airport safely, but ‘immediately’ is not a word that you want to hear coming from the cockpit.”

Read the rest of the article