Sorry, Prince William, you Know you're Getting Old When...

Photographic evidence from the royal tour to Australia suggests that the Duke of Cambridge’s favourite belt, a gaucho-style leather number he has worn for years, now has to be buckled at its very last hole.

Now that he has become a father, Prince William’s hair has started to recede faster than a Eurozone economy. Sorry, Your Royal Highness, it seems that you’re getting old.

Here, then, are some more telltale signs that time is taking its toll on us men…

1. Going to bed early is not a punishment, but a blessed relief.

[amazon asin=B0088FLLK2&template=*lrc ad (left)]2. You are, very occasionally, more interested by babies than babes.

3. Someone famous dies and your immediate reaction is to subtract your age from theirs and realise, with a start, that the difference is terrifyingly small. Or, even worse, that you’re older.

4. You discover that there is an inverse relationship between the amount of hair on your head and the number of shampoos, conditioners, grooming gels, creams, bottles of Just For Men, restorative foams and anti-baldness pills you possess. Soon, you will have a bathroom cabinet that puts Boots to shame and a scalp like Kojak’s even balder brother.

5. You get the reference to Kojak.

6. All those furious female TV presenters who are always protesting that they’re too old to get decent jobs any more, well, they don’t seem that old to you.[amazon asin=B006X1DCVO&template=*lrc ad (right)]

7. You’re clearing out the garage – because that’s the kind of thing you do these days – and you find a pile of old vinyl LPs. You haven’t played any of them in 20 years, maybe more, but every sleeve brings back a memory.

8. You see a pretty young thing swishing down the street on a sunny day and your heart still lights up as it always did. But the blood doesn’t pound as hard as a young man’s does. And then you realise that you’re probably older than the pretty young thing’s father. Or, in some parts of the country, her grandad.

9. It’s not just that you’re older – much, much older… – than the footballers on Match of the Day. It’s that the managers have started to seem young, as do the pundits and certainly the referees. Not that you see many of them, because you’ve dropped off less than halfway through the programme. Speaking of which …

10. Afternoon nap – the two finest words in the lexicon.

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