The TSA: Protecting Us From Bald Women and Artificial Knees

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"She then said, u2018And if we don't clear you, you don't fly' loud enough for other passengers to hear.  And they did.  And they stared at the bald woman being yelled at by a TSA [Transportation Security Administration] Supervisor," writes the "bald woman," Lori Dorn.

Ms. Dorn is a consultant in "human resources" who underwent "a bilateral mastectomy in April and had tissue expanders put in to make way for reconstruction at a later date." She was flying out of New York's John F. Kennedy International Airport last week when the TSA pounced on her, as it has countless other survivors of cancer.

Though Ms. Dorn had submitted to the TSA's pornographic and carcinogenic "imaging scanner," she "was asked to step aside to have my breast area examined." Perhaps this will disabuse the serfs once and for all of the fallacy that posing in these gizmos rescues them from the TSA's punitive "patdowns"; you do "choose" not to be either ogled or groped, whatever the TSA implies.

Ms. Dorn informed her assailant she "was not comfortable with having my breasts touched" and carried "a card in my wallet that explains the type of expanders, serial numbers and my doctor's information (pictured) and asked to retrieve it.  This request was denied.  Instead, [the TSA's degenerate] called over a female supervisor who told me" — at top volume — "the exam had to take place.  I was again told that I could not retrieve the card and needed to submit to a physical exam in order to be cleared."

Try to imagine the thuggette so sociopathic that she insists on pawing surgical incisions, let alone ones so personal. Or read Ms. Dorn's reaction to this unconscionable cruelty: "I have been through emotional and physical hell this past year due to breast cancer.  The way I was treated by these TSA agents added a shitload of insult to injury and caused me a great deal of humiliation."

Tragically, Ms. Dorn grants the TSA the empathy it denied her as she echoes the justification its prey so often does. "I understand the need for safety when flying," she says as gamely as any gazelle conceding that, yeah, the hyenas currently ripping into its throat are undoubtedly famished.

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Listen up, Ms. Dorn: the TSA has nothing whatever to do with safety. Just the opposite, in fact. The agency irradiated you though you're already battling cancer. Then it sexually molested you. That's criminal endangerment, not security.

Ms. Dorn did score a victory of sorts. Rather than applaud its goons for "following protocol," as it usually does when their brutality outrages the country, the TSA apologized, albeit half-heartedly: "We do our best to treat passengers with the dignity and respect they deserve," prated the smarmy "Blogger Bob," who regularly channels Joseph Goebbels on one of the TSA's official websites.

Let's have a show of hands: how many agree that the TSA "do[es its] best to treat passengers with the dignity and respect they deserve"? Yo, Joe: I don't think the propaganda's working. Maybe ask Adolph for some pointers?

Joe also reminds us that "Medical cards" such as Ms. Dorn tried to present to her gate-rapist, "whether from a physician or TSA, do not exempt you from screening. … Private screening can be requested by any passenger for any reason and in situations such as this one, our officers should offer it." [Original emphasis.]

Here we go again, with the TSA's wishful thinking that sexual assault isn't so long as the perpetrators describe it in advance to victims, offer a choice of locations, and "follow proper procedure." I await the day when a jury exonerates a freelance rapist on such grounds ("Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty because he screamed at the plaintiff exactly what he was going to do before dragging her away to a secluded area…")

Nonetheless, Ms. Dorn has "accept[ed] … the TSA's apology" despite "hear[ing] from many that [it] rang hollow." Really, really hollow. No matter: she seems thrilled that "a government bureaucracy … acknowledge[d] something went wrong," and she even responded to Herr Goebbels' blogging: "Thank you very much. I really appreciate the TSA taking the time to investigate my concerns."

Another patient and passenger also rejoiced at Our Rulers' notice of his plight. Thomas Sawyer wears an ostomy bag after losing his bladder to cancer. The TSA manhandled him, too, breaking the seal on his bag and soaking him in urine last November. Its chief, John "The Pervert" Pistole, phoned Mr. Sawyer. That had the dazzled peon gushing to MSNBC, "First [The Pervert] apologized … And I thanked him." Thanked him? "Then I told him off a bit." Oh, the daring, the lese majesty! "And he said, u2018Tell me more. What do you think needs to be done?'"

You might assume Mr. Sawyer would bark, "Abolition, you reincarnated Nazi!" But no. Instead, he "offered to attend a general staff meeting to show the staff what an ostomy bag is and help with that training … Pistole said he just may take me up on that."

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And so "The TSA … flew Mr Sawyer to Washington in March to speak to federal officials about insensitive screeners." Which is sorta like speaking to Charles Rangel (D-NY) about the graft swamping Congress. Alas, the "training" didn't take: "insensitive screeners" broke his bag and soaked him again this summer. "I thought that I had really made a difference for people flying with urostomies, I really did," Mr. Sawyer moaned. "I’m angry this time. They can’t be training them properly." Talk about your impossible dream! Teaching the TSA's yahoos "sensitivity" is like teaching Rangel ethics.

My money says the yahoos will also emerge unscathed from the "in-service technical training course focused on screening prosthetics" (nope, I can't translate the jargon, either) the TSA has "rolled out" in response to Ms. Dorn's trauma. Meanwhile, she can thank her lucky stars the deviants didn't "offer" her their vaunted "private screening" as they did Carol Murray.

Ms. Murray is a 61-year-old grandmother from Ottawa, Canada, with an artificial knee. After visiting family in California a few weeks ago, she headed to Los Angeles International for her flight home. There the TSA "pulled" this gray-haired, bespectacled passenger "from the normal security line" when her implant rang the metal detector. "She was given the option of having the search done in the open or behind closed doors. She chose the private route, which she now regrets…

"Murray said the female agent, in view of another female staffer, proceeded to run her hand along the waistband of her pants, back and across her buttocks. … her stomach was checked and hands felt down between her breasts. The officer knelt down and u2018firmly sliced both hands' into her private parts, front and back. u2018I was in shock and could barely breathe when it was over.'" She then "fell into my husband's arms and could not stop from crying." She'll probably also suffer "uncontrollable intrusive thoughts about" this sexual abuse, "realistic nightmares … flashbacks … social withdrawal … hyper-alertness and hyper-vigilance … trouble falling or staying asleep … irritability, hostility, rage and anger…"

Ms. Dorn plaintively asks, "At what point does the need for security eclipse human dignity and compassion?" At the point where slaves pretend Their Masters protect them.

October 7, 2011