• Universal Government

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    The cost of government has exploded in recent years and if we don't
    act fast, the price will continue to soar, eventually leaving affordable
    government out of the reach of many.

    Already we have millions of people without government. You see
    them all around you, hanging out on street corners, unemployed,
    smoking pot, begging. Without explicitly provisioning for more government,
    we will be responsible for these people anyway. We will have to
    taser them and jail them and feed them. And that will mean an even
    higher cost of government.

    We are on the brink of disaster. And we can clearly see that the
    private sector has failed. Unbridled capitalism has failed. Competition
    among greedy, self-centered individuals has utterly failed to lower
    the price of government. Only a public plan can hope to stall the
    rapid and unsustainable growth in government.

    Many people have already written to, called, or visited their legislators
    about this current crisis. One woman broke down in tears when describing
    her life without government. Fortunately, a kindly and gracious
    politician immediately provided her some life-saving government,
    but without drastic, quick action, millions of other Americans will
    die without equal access.

    With the new public option, people who wish to remain at their
    current level of government can do so, but those who are ready to
    step boldly into the future can opt in. The new plan offers not
    only more government, but also better, more affordable government.
    The essential insight is to allow those who opt into the public
    option to not bear the costs of the plan. They can all get more
    government for free.

    Indeed, with more government, we can lower the cost of all government.
    Administrative overhead will be minimized. Organizational synergies
    can be effected. Just imagine how convenient it will be to pick
    up your government at the same place where you get your mail or
    recycle your garbage.

    And it is not only that the direct costs of government will be
    lowered with more government: there are numerous indirect costs
    that will fall as well. Our justice system is plagued with multiple
    private competitors suing each other over frivolous contract and
    intellectual property violations. Individuals also sue corporations
    for fraud or breach of contract, and vice versa. Many of these inefficient
    judicial proceedings can be replaced with a single, effective federal
    agency in charge of dispute resolution. The whole process can be
    streamlined to ensure quick, accurate, and fair decisions to any

    Furthermore, not only can we make government better, cheaper, and
    more efficient by making it larger, we can also leverage these same
    principles and apply them to other vital issues. We have been fighting
    wars all across the globe for decades with no end in sight. We have
    been legislating against climate change for years. We have been
    regulating financial entities and maintaining a tight grip on health
    care. We have been monopolizing the price of money.

    We have been going about it all wrong. The right solution is more.
    (The left solution is also more.) More soldiers will end the war
    faster. More legislation will end pollution. More regulation will
    stop our economic malaise and make everyone healthier. A bigger,
    more secretive Federal Reserve will be able to issue more money
    and keep the currency stronger.

    But these changes should not be incremental or marginal. The mistake
    we have been making is to think that we need "just a little
    more" to accomplish our goals. This is an error. There is no
    single piece of legislation short enough to be read by those voting
    for it that can do what needs to be done.

    To have maximal effect, we need sweeping new legislation and powers.
    Powers so sweeping, we won't know for years or decades what they
    really mean. In some cases, we may never find out. In the days and
    weeks to come, you will be introduced to a variety of new agencies,
    committees, and entities formed for the purpose of reducing the
    costs of government and increasing the availability of government
    to all. To the extent certain unavoidable payments are to be incurred,
    they will be paid for through debt and various esoteric operations
    by the Fed. And not to worry — even the future interest payments
    will be paid for through new debt issues as needed.

    We have indeed discovered a way to guarantee more government to
    everybody with nobody of consequence paying more. We will be putting
    this plan into action immediately, with or without your approval,
    so you are encouraged to publicly express support for the plan in
    order to be among the first to receive your generous share of the
    increased government.

    A glorious new world order is right around the corner, if only
    we have the courage and conviction to see it through. Perhaps someday
    we can all live in a world where no one wants any more government.

    4, 2009

    Dr. Phil
    Maymin [send him mail] is an
    Assistant Professor of Finance and Risk Engineering at the Polytechnic
    Institute of New York University. He is the author of Free
    Your Inner Yankee

    and Yankee
    Wake Up

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