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The Great Decider (With Apologies to the Platters' "The Great Pretender")

Oh yes I’m the great decider (ooh ooh) Pretending I’m deciding well (ooh ooh) My need is such I decide too much I’m deciding but no one can tell

Oh yes I’m the great decider (ooh ooh) Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh) I play the game but to my real shame You’ve left me to decide all alone

Too real are these decisions of make believe Too real when I feel what my Sec Def Can’t conceal

Ooh Ooh yes I’m the great decider (ooh ooh) Just bombing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh) I’ve decided to be what I’m not (you see) I decide like I’m wearing a crown Pretending we’ve got enough troops on the ground

Yeah ooh ooh Too real when I feel what my SecDef Can’t conceal

Oh yes I’m the great decider Just bombing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh) I’ve decided to be what I’m not you see I’m deciding like I wear a crown Pretending that Rove Pretending that Rove’s still around.

Richard Cummings [send him mail] taught international law at the Haile Selassie I University and before that, was Attorney-Advisor with the Office of General Counsel of the Near East South Asia region of U.S.A.I.D, where he was responsible for the legal work pertaining to the aid program in Israel, Jordan, Pakistan and Afghanistan. He is the author of a new novel, The Immortalists, as well as The Pied Piper — Allard K. Lowenstein and the Liberal Dream, and the comedy, Soccer Moms From Hell. He holds a Ph.D. in Social and Political Sciences from Cambridge University and is a member of the Association of Former Intelligence Officers. He is writing a new book, The Road To Baghdad — The Money Trail Behind The War In Iraq. He is a contribution editor for The American Conservative.