United States Invades Hell
from a Television News Network report
now with breaking news, our on the scene correspondent, Mike Smith,
covering ... well, Mike, perhaps you can tell me what is going on
Sarah, Iím here in New York, where witnesses have reported that
some sort of monster is wreaking havoc in lower Manhattan. Descriptions
vary, but most say that it resembles a demon of some sort."
Sarah. That is what people are reporting. The area has been closed
off and the police are on the scene. It has been rumored that the
Governor is planning on calling in the National Guard to help deal
with this menace.
you been able to get any footage of this alleged demon?"
as of now, the entire area for a ten block radius has been closed
off, but we will continue to wait, itís coming in view."
panned outward at this point. Image of the demon appears on screen.]
there it is, the monster that people have been talking about. As
you can see, it possesses phenomenal strength, although its full
abilities have not yet been determined. Whatís that?"
you need to leave the area."
a journalist, you canít suppress freedom of the press."
this is for your own safety."
itís coming straight at you!"
this point the transmission was abruptly cut off.]
York Press Headline Story
Appears in Manhattan
appears, for all intents and purposes to be a Demon materialized
in lower Manhattan three days ago. After going on a destructive
rampage, the Governor called in the National Guard to help contain
this menace. So far, it has been contained, although the military
refuses to release any progress reports.
describe a hole opening in the street, and from that hole crawled
the Demon, which shortly thereafter started to destroy everything
within reach. There have been 35 casualties, and many more injured,
but the monster has been contained and has been repelled by the
Guard several times as it tried to leave the confinement zone.
is rumored that the President is planning on sending more units
in with more advanced weaponry, but the White House has neither
confirmed nor denied this. Relief supplies are already being convoyed
to New York, and private donations are pouring in.
Governor of New York is calling on the President to declare a State
of Emergency, and is considering a declaration of Martial Law until
the menace is removed.
York Press Headline Story
what analysts call a stunning victory, the demon fell to the concentrated
fire of Patriot Missiles. While invulnerable to small arms fire,
21st century weaponry is more than capable of felling
marines have been sent through the portal into what appears to be
Hell and have established a temporary beachhead at the entrance
to prevent any further invasions. While the portal is currently
too small to allow major weaponry through, the lesser denizens of
Hell can be held back by M-16 fire.
far several different religions have claimed the Demon, still unidentified,
as proof of their validity, although a few Infernal Detainees have
said that all the claims are invalid. The identities of these detainees
are unknown at this time.
Army has at this time forbidden any members of the press access
to the Nether World, so conditions there are unknown, although the
Public Affairs Office assures us that morale is high. It is unknown
at this time how long American troops will be stationed there.
Transcript of a speech the President made to Congress, one month
after the initial arrival of the Demon
United States is threatened by a new, yet very old, enemy. One month
ago, a Demon from Hell arrived in New York City. It took the combined
efforts of the military of the United States of America to defeat
this Demon and ensure the safety of our own people.
has been declared on the United States and on Mankind by Hell. For
the security of the people of the United States of America, we must
respond. I call for the creation of a Department of Infernal Affairs
to monitor for Infernal Activity. This will be both a Scientific
Agency to study our enemies, and a Military Agency to respond to
will begin immediate investigation of Satanists and other deviant
religions within this country for aiding and abetting the enemy.
While not detained for any specific offense, we will ensure that
their civil rights are protected.
Department of Infernal Affairs will include a hotline where loyal
citizens can report on suspected Infernal influence on their neighbors.
We Invade Hell?
information is still incomplete, there have been rumors about whether
or not the invading demon was acting alone or under orders from
some superior demon. As long as this information is still unavailable,
it would be irresponsible to mount any major military activity in
Hell. The potential of causing harm to innocent civilians should
balance the equation of whether or not to declare war.
would argue that those living in Hell are by nature not innocent,
but in this instance, since the average citizens are not the ones
who committed the attack, they are relatively innocent.
of Infernal Affairs Press Release
scientists have been working around the clock to understand the
nature of the enemy we fight. The remains of the Demon, after having
been delivered to us, have been dissected by our Biologists. This
has given us valuable information on the strengths and weaknesses
of these strange beings.
the nature of the portal that this being opened has finally been
analyzed, and it is thought that soon we would be able to open our
own portal to the netherworld, as well as detecting portals that
may open on our world.
planned invasion of Hell raises serious questions about the Separation
of Church and State as guaranteed in the First Amendment. Should
the government be allowed to question the denizens of the Nether
Realms about their opposite numbers?
a correct religion were to be identified, those in other religions
would be considered aligned with the Infernal, and would the United
States government then consider itself to have free reign to violate
the rights of those in other religions for aligning themselves with
given that demons have a reputation for being liars, could any report
on the correct religion be believed from them? It is the recommendation
of the American Civil Liberties Union that investigation along these
lines be abandoned.
posting from a Lew Rockwell reader
missed the point, again.
of the Department of Infernal Investigations
emblem of the Department of Infernal Affairs has been changed. It
seems that people thought it looked too much like the Government
trying to take the place of religion.
said that the image of the bomber amidst the clouds of heaven was
just a bit too much. Others thought that showing the earth resting
just above the flames of Hell was sacrilegious, and suggesting that
it would be government protecting people from that was a violation
of the first amendment.
on Lew Rockwell
advantage of a disaster, the Federal Government has found a new
reason to dispense with Civil Liberties. People of questionable
religious affiliations have been rounded up, without warrants, without
trials, to be held indefinitely by the Department of Infernal Investigations.
Where are these internment camps? That is not public knowledge.
this roundup is not limited to Satanists, who shouldnít have their
rights violated in this way either. Members of various Pagan and
Neo-Pagan religions are being rounded up as well, in spite of there
being no proof of any Satanic sentiments, and plenty of proof otherwise.
It seems that they are being detained for not following an "approved"
course, all of this seems to not bother the average American, since
it is all done on the name of "security." How long until
the effects of this are felt in their daily lives? Will it be too
late to reverse this government growth once they realize their freedoms
course, giving the Department of Infernal Affairs the authority
to read our emails without any warrant and setting up a toll free
number with which we can turn in our neighbors is all too reminiscent
of the worst aspects of 1984.
on Lew Rockwell
seems we are going to expand our American Empire in a new direction.
The evidence seems to point out that the Demon who invaded New York
was acting alone, but that is still sufficient reason for the United
States to invade and annex Hell.
punishing the lone offender would be a good idea, and has been accomplished
by the National Guard, if our government does invade Hell, as seems
to be the intent, it will make us the aggressors.
what possible benefit could our imperialist government gain from
the invasion of Hell? This could cost many lives and many dollars,
and for what? To establish an empire in which one cannot escape
by death? Even during the worst of their excesses, the Soviet, Nazi,
and Maoist empires did have the out of death. It was often used
as a punishment, but it did free one from the temporal earthly dictatorships.
Having an eternal dictatorship is a horrifying thought.
we manage to successfully invade hell, we would most likely establish
a puppet government there, picking some minor demon willing to do
our bidding for at least a while. The President has said he has
no intent to conquer hell, so this will probably be another "regime
how should this story end?
Gonella [send him mail]
is an unemployed computer programmer in the Los Angeles area, trying
to fill his time with acting jobs. He is the Secretary of the Region
68 Antelope Valley Libertarian Party.
© 2003 LewRockwell.com