Top Twelve Reasons To Go to the North American International Auto Show in Detroit

To make Arianna Huffington absolutely livid.

To look at all the glorious SUVs – in complete tranquility – without having to explain to all the anti-SUV, would-be dictators why you need one.

To produce some reason, any reason that’ll support your posturing for needing an SUV, since that bit of Marxist drivel seems to have become some sort of a prerequisite before buying an SUV.

To do a survey of the anti-SUV public, asking them how they would define need, and then do a follow-up survey asking them if they need everything they own and enjoy, for instance, convertibles, muscle cars, classic cars, sports cars, DVD players, home surround sound units, Sony PlayStation, the $30,000 deck out back, the vacation home on the lake in the woods, the country club membership, and, well, you know. Then close out the latter survey by asking them if it’s okay if others determine their needs on an arbitrary basis. Then flash them a big smile.

To buy a new SUV and help disprove Arianna Huffington’s whacky position, that is, that owning an SUV: directly supports Muslim terrorism, and therefore, makes you a terrorist; is un-American; pits you "against us, and with the enemy"; makes you are a direct threat to national security.

To survey anti-SUV people on this question: If you found out that government decrees, courtesy of its pact with the Greens and various other special interests, were responsible for the modern SUV design that you so despise, would you then support the eradication of government intervention in the free market?

To observe the bemused, oblivious stare of each person who is asked the above question.

If you are a man, and you used to attend the show just to gaze at the scantily-clad, auto show models, for a fleeting look at all the cleavage, skin, and legs or whatever, now you can go to the new, politically correct Auto Show where the women are now rescued from being mere "objects" and are "elevated" to the point of wearing tuxedos, pantsuits, and other apparel that will not only cover the natural beauty of their feminine persuasion, but will make the ugly, misshapen, envious, feminist types very happy.

To pick out the interior color for your next Ford Expedition.