I Am Tired of This Hamster Wheel

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Recently by Mark Sisson: From Sugar-Burner to Fat-Burner: ATransformationStory


It's Friday, everyone! And that means another dose of Primal Blueprint inspiration. Today, Michelle Ford, a PrimalCon 2011 attendee, shares a story that many of you can probably relate to — one of sugar dependence and Chronic Cardio. Ultimately, Michelle was able to break out of this vicious cycle. Learn from her real life story, and share your words of encouragement and gratitude in the comment board. Grok on!

If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark's Daily Apple community please contact me here. I'll continue to publish these each Friday as long as you send them in. Thanks for reading!

Dear Mark and Carrie,

First of all, I want to thank you both for an amazing weekend at PrimalCon. You both are amazing in your attitude towards life, and I really admire you. You both have your priorities straight, and have learned how to live a true quality life. That is what I want. I don’t want quantity….what our culture serves up constantly and daily….I want quality.

I came to PrimalCon because I wanted to sit at your feet and learn. I don’t have a before and after picture to show people. I have never been overweight, and from the outside looking in, I look healthy and I look like I have it all together. But from the inside looking out, I felt like I was living a lie. Everyone around me thought I was so amazingly healthy, but the truth is, I was like an alcoholic with sugar. The other day, my friend Dana said, “It use to be so cute how you could eat a whole cake because you’re so little. If a big person did that, it is just gross, but seeing you do it, it was so cute, because you are so little, and no one would expect it.” Well, I felt gross and horrible when I did things like that. But, I could not control myself with sugar.

So, my story: Three years ago I joined Weight Watchers to lose about 10 lbs. I had noticed my weight creeping up slowly after I hit 40, and I realized, if I didn’t watch what I ate, I was going to be 20 lbs overweight by the time I hit 50. I exercised like crazy, but to no avail. I was still gaining weight. Just a pound or two a year, but enough to notice.

I joined Weight Watchers, and lost 12 lbs counting my points. I started keeping a food journal, and weighed every morsel that went into my mouth. I was able to get back into size 2 clothes, and I really felt great. I was still exercising like crazy, biking, running, weight training. I felt really good, and I was in control. I kept my calories down to about 1200 to 1500 a day, and severely limited my fat intake. I ate egg whites, lots of veggies, fruits, lots of beans, lots of soy, very little meat except lean chicken, salmon, and turkey. I also ate low-fat yogurt, low-fat salad dressings, low-fat cheese, and I would allow myself a low-fat WW fudgy bar every day as a “treat.” All the low-fat stuff I ate was processed, contained high fructose corn syrup, and what have you. I remember, sometimes if I got hungry, I would eat a can of WW soup worth only 1 point, even if you ate the whole can. Gross. Still on the whole, I had a pretty healthy diet. I didn’t believe in eating a lot of processed foods, but if it kept me from eating fat, that is what I had to do.

In January 2009, I returned to work as a nurse after a three year hiatus. I had to go back to working night shift. By this point, I was no longer a youngster, and my 44-year-old body revolted. For 11 months I worked two 12 hour night shifts a week. I would stay up all day, go to work, come home, sleep for 4 hours, go work out, and either get on with my day, or go back to work. I was exhausted, I craved sugar like an addict, and I was mean. I began to gain weight back….not a lot, but I noticed. I was not nearly as in control of my eating habits as I was before because I was so tired ALL THE TIME. I hated everyone. I hated everything. All I wanted was to make myself feel better, and the only thing that did that was sugar.

Of course, it was a vicious cycle, because I would binge on sugar and then I would hate myself. I would feel awful, inside and out. I thought I had an eating disorder. The glorious day finally came when I was put on day shift. I thought all my troubles were behind me. I thought I could finally return to normal, and be a normal person.

Truth is, it did get better. I felt better, I was a much nicer person, I liked people again. I liked life again. But I was still on this vicious sugar cycle. I truly was an addict. Of course I was now working out like crazy. I was riding my bike for miles, I was training for a marathon, I was swimming, I was weight lifting. I would run in the morning, go for a 4 hour bike ride, come home, shower, make dinner, than go take an hour Tai Kwon Do class with the family. I tried to run 25 to 35 miles a week even though I had an injured foot. I rode 120 to 150 miles a week. I weight trained 2 to 3 days a week. On my off day, I would swim a mile. And then I would do Tai Kwon Do twice a week, but that was not a “work out.” On my days that I worked, I would get up at 4:30 am, get to work by 6:30, work until 7:30 pm and than go work out. If I was too tired, I would swim.

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