Hunter Is the Good Biden

The son of the warlock who spread his talons and cast a spell from his satanic podium last Thursday

Hunter Biden has been in the news again recently. Not for his fingerpainting this time—for a movie that has been made about his life. “My Son Hunter,” which is being distributed by Breitbart News, is set for release on September 7, 2022.

If the trailer is any indication, “My Son Hunter” will be a recreation of what it would look like if all the horrendous photos and videos on Hunter Biden’s misplaced laptops had been strung together and set within the context of political events. The churning, psychedelic plotline is disconcerting in the extreme, but the nausea one feels watching the trailer is not due to art for art’s sake but to art’s imitating life. The pathetic shallowness that is Hunter Biden, the meth teeth and prostitutes and cocaine, is not fiction in the slightest. It is who the son of the illegal occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is throughout his every wasted day.

Flipping through the scenes of Hunter Biden’s existence takes a strong stomach and a fortified psychological constitution. The man is debauched, depraved, disgraced, and diseased. What’s worse, he has traded access to his famous father for the sexual, financial, and narcotic favors which have been thrown his way. Hunter Biden is essentially a reverse pimp. He sells fake intimacy for money, but he’s the one who ends up getting used. And one suspects he kind of likes it. Hunter Biden is, by every measure I can think of, a disgusting human being.

But let’s not let “My Son Hunter” distract us from what’s really going on. Yes, Hunter Biden is a traitor and a lowlife. But he’s the good Biden. His father, Joe Biden, is infinitely worse than “the smartest guy he knows,” the clearly idiotic Hunter.

It’s true, for example, that Hunter Biden was on the take from bigwigs in Ukraine and China. Those payments, disguised as business transactions, were transparently in exchange for face time with “the Big Guy.” You don’t have to be Perry Mason to figure out what’s going on. Hunter sold out his country and his name for Mammon. A trial is too good for people like Hunter Biden—drumhead justice at dawn will do.

But Hunter was just the disposable middleman. The real corruption comes when “the Big Guy” gets involved. And when that happens all bets are off. Heck, long before Hunter became the poster boy problem child, his dad was “high-tech lynching” Clarence Thomas. And one can hardly blame Hunter for pop’s (not to be confused with Corn Pop) surrender to the Taliban, a ragtag force of Stone Age cave dwellers whose most potent weapon, apart from rusty Kalashnikovs from the Soviet era, would appear to be b.o. Not sure the average Talibanner is as ripe in his greasy robe as Hunter must be after a long night on the town in Beijing, but at any rate the ignominious retreat from Afghanistan was “the Big Guy’s” canvas, not Hunter’s.

Afghanistan brings into even sharper focus why Hunter is the good Biden. Joe Biden is the manager of American decline (as was his boss when he was vice-president, the highest office which Joe Biden has ever legitimately held). His task is much more complicated than was Obama’s, however. Obama—who has yet to produce a paper version of his birth certificate—had only to curtsy from afar as the People’s Republic of China came drooling and snarling (and, yes, spitting and breaking in line) onto the world stage. Biden is in a much stickier wicket. Biden has to fake-grapple with Beijing, to put on a good show before the People’s Republic of China—Biden’s owner—finally gets to clasp the brass ring and escort the Americans out of the theater. Free Wuhan virus for everyone in the audience.

Maybe you like the American Empire. Maybe you don’t. There are hundreds of millions of people in Taiwan, Japan, South Korea, the Philippines, and a lot of other places (including, yes, China and even North Korea) who would prefer that a nuclear war in the western Pacific not be the price to pay for Joe Biden’s having cashed in on the American endgame.

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