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Some Free Career Advice for Will Smith, College Professor

I am now setting myself up as a career counselor. This is a new venture for me. Probably, it is illegal for me to do any such thing without a bureaucratic licensure, but I’m going to press ahead anyway, without governmental permission.

My first client will be Will Smith. I’m working pro bono here, just in case he may not want to take me on in this role.

Why should Mr. Smith need a job change? For one thing, the Academy Award people are now looking askance at his slapping behavior. For example, according to David Rubin, President of the Academy: “We will continue to move forward with our disciplinary proceedings against Mr. Smith for violations of the Academy’s Standards of Conduct.” Late night hosts have been piling on him, never a good sign for a major actor in the public eye. Numerous other public figures excoriated this behavior of his. Perhaps as a result of all this negative publicity, he did resign from the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences.

On the other hand, this matinee idol did get a standing ovation from the Hollywood types, right after he slapped comedian Chris Rock, so his career as an actor may not be over — at least not quite yet. On the other hand, it is always good to be prepared for eventualities; who knows what the future may bring.

But he doesn’t have a Ph.D. you say, therefore no university would hire him? Not so, not so. He could become a Professor of Practice: there are plenty of artists, musicians, journalists and other experts in non-traditional academic fields now ensconced in the faculty lounge. I have no doubt that many departments of black studies would welcome him with open arms. And this goes, too, for African and African-American departments at prestigious universities.

Why is Mr. Smith particularly qualified to take a place behind the lecture stand on campus? This is because he fully “gets” the weltanschauung now sweeping colleges far and wide. He appreciates the fact that mere statements, a joke in this case, constitutes a “microaggression.”

Smith’s slap is the culmination of the microaggression phenomenon now infecting the university community like a virus. Only intellectuals, junior and senior, could interpret mere verbiage that does not threaten physical violence, as itself a violent act. This is the justification used by the cancel culture to prohibit by force speakers with whom they disagree, from sharing their views. This is precisely the impetus behind Smith’s slap at Rock. The actor used violence against the comedian for telling a joke. It is no accident the humorists now avoid universities like a plague.

A Professor Smith, moreover, will be more than willing to sign a diversity statement now required for hiring and promotion at our “best” universities. He will go along with, enthusiastically, safe spaces (where not a discouraging word is heard), tamping down, nay, prohibiting, anything that “offends” anyone. Well, not anyone; conservatives and libertarians need not apply. We’re talking, now, about offending important groups of people. Based on his past behavior Will Smith will be fully on board with not just interrupting speeches by people such as Charles Murray and Heather McDonald, but actually slapping them around, physically.

Get ready to call this leading actor Professor Smith in his new dramatic role!

Reprinted with the author’s permission.