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Gospel of The Ukrainian Borg

Testify your insanity and become assimilated.

“The purpose of the Internet was not to liberate information for society, but to isolate individuals into controlled information monopolies so their ideas, behaviors and beliefs could be easily merged into one psychological energy weapon for the aims of a global technocracy.”
— T. Goode Charley

The light and the darkness. The kind and the cruel. The strong and the weak. The brave and the cowards. The thoughtful and the Ukrainian Borg.

Zis invasion is a great opportunity to reset zee world. Zee more civilian deaths for zee cameras and refugees, zee more zee west will sanction Russia destroying zee dollar’s status and zerby zee global economy, zee better it will be for zee Forse Industrrael Revolution.
Schwab 6:66

Ukrainian Borg Alliance Meeting Day 7 – Zoom Room 38218832PX12
Dobrogo Ranku everyone! That means good morning in Urainians. My name is Piper, my pronouns are ze/zir and I just want to talk about, like my feelings lately. I really was antiwar but then I started seeing images of the Ghost of Keev and like all those Ruskie planes he shot down in one day to earn the ace fighter badge and now I’m totally inspired. I’m thinking about starting a GoFundMe to raise money for a new aviator suit for him since the one he’s been wearing for like a week is probably all sweaty and I highly doubt they have tide pods there or even washing machines. Do they even wash clothes in Urainia? Probably in the rivers.

So, I would like, totally go and fight there myself but I have this weird rash on my feet at the moment and it hurts to walk. My cousin says its like, something from my third booster but he’s a total antivaxxer and maybe even a Putin apologist so I know it’s probably totally unrelated. I stopped talking to him four days ago and blocked him from my DMs on Insta and like, the karmic vibes since then have been totally copacetic.

Right now I think the best thing we can all do is raise money for a new aviator suit for the Ghost of Keev, and keep tweeting Jens Stoltenberg the head of NATO to finally send fighter jets in there to help him. It’s time to start bombing those Russians in Urainia and like why stop there when they can fly straight to bomb Moscow and St. Petersburg? I’m like all for just bombing all Russians at this point if it saves just one Urainie!

Oh and I also signed the petition to the United Nations Global Culinary council to have the dish Chicken Kiev changed to Chicken Keev permanently. Every little bit helps the Urainians. Peace everyone!

Ukrainian Borg Alliance Meeting Day 11 – Zoom Room 45418432GE23
Hello everyone. My name is Finley. My pronouns are ve/ver. I’m from Seattle. I was one of the original Chaz occupiers. Now I work for the city of Seattle doing just basic humanitarian work to assist with the temporarily sheltered and abode challenged peoples of the community. It’s mostly handing out free syringes and soon thanks to President Biden, crack pipes, because why discriminate against any recreational drug users? What’s that? Oh, right, Ukraine. So, like I’m totally antiwar but just the evil nature of Putin has made me all for this one. I didn’t mean that. Stop giving me those looks! What I meant to say is that I’m against this invasion like one hundred. But I’m totally for bombing the shit out of all Russians. I’m so for it okay? Like, the other day when I was handing out syringes to the abode challenged, one of them had a weird accent and like I asked straight up, “Are you Russian?” and he got like scared and said he was hungry or something, but I said I’m not handing out food, and he said he was from hungry, but then I saw he had a blue and red tent, which we all know are Russian colors because of the flag, right? So no syringe for Borris! That’s right. I’m totally doing my part too.

The most courageous thing I’ve done recently is put my cat down. I thought it would make be sad but I’m actually like very happy I did it. She cost me two grand when I bought her as a kitten, but every time I like, just saw her, it made me feel guilty because she was a Siberian forest cat. I was just reminded of Russian evil every time she meowed. It wasn’t good for my morale. I did have to bribe the vet who wanted to adopt her, which was way out of bounds for me and I told her one less Russian thing in the world makes it a better place, and so like we both agreed to say she was terminal with cancer and it cost me another two grand to bribe the vet but, was like, totally worth it.

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