No use piling on where Prince Andrew is concerned. It’s not the end of the world, and he’s not among the brightest, either. Back in the summer of 2007, in Saint-Tropez, I had a boatload of guests and we all went to a party given by the Rubin family in their villa. It was a very gay night, in the old-fashioned meaning of the word “gay,” and soon we were joined by a slutty-looking beauty from the Far East and the prince with the highest IQ on the planet, Andrew. He was polite but distant, concentrating on the slutty beauty. That’s when I told my friend Debbie Bismarck that Andy had no chance. “Just watch me,” I said.
I inched myself close to the babe in question, signaling to her that I needed to tell her something, and when she excused herself from Andy’s monologue, I informed her that the prince would not marry her nor keep her, but I instead, as a producer of Chinese Westerns, could employ her forthwith. She dropped him like the proverbial hot you-know-what. My friends were laughing, although some thought I had been rude to the prince. “Not at all,” I told them. “I know women, and he does not.”
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Mind you, it didn’t take a genius to guess that the slutty one was slutty. Things did not turn out as planned because of my friend Nick Scott, who caught on quickly and sat beside me talking shop—Chinese Westerns—and making me laugh so hard that even the slutty one realized there was something wrong. Especially when Nick told her I had Bruce Lee killed for refusing a role. She went home alone, probably for the first time in her young life. Yes, as previously stated, Andrew is not the brightest of the bright; he is, however, smarter and more articulate than Jabrill Peppers, a man who attended academically demanding Michigan University for four years and now plays for the New York Giants, a football team of intellectuals. After a loss last week he addressed the press corps and said, “I ain’t really care about how ya’ll feel or how nobody feel.” I hope Peppers did not major in English, but if he did, I’m not surprised. There are many dumb people around, and “270 million followers of Kylie Kardashian-Jenner buy her products, recently making her the second-youngest billionaire.” Here’s a rather plain to ugly-looking young woman who has 270 million idiotic followers and we go around calling Prince Andrew stupid.
Who was it that said one never goes broke underestimating the public’s taste? H.L. Mencken, the sage of Baltimore, that’s who, and the sage was no dummy. Epstein the child molester would never have gotten to him. Mencken was suspicious of “sudden” wealth, and Epstein’s sure was sudden. But are royals supposed to know the difference? When they stick to their own kind of people they’re called aloof and indifferent. When they mix with the recently arrived, they get into trouble sometimes. The “sweatless” one obviously fell for Epstein’s toys, but so did many others who should have known better and are now off the hook because two prison guards were surfing the internet for porn or bargains while persons unknown were applying instant sedation on the child molester. Maybe.
