Here's What It's Like To Be a Bear in a Rigged Market

Central bankers and media handlers must be laughing at how easy it is to slaughter the Bears and doubters with another fake-news round of trade-deal rumors and another Fed parrot being prompted to repeat some dovish mumbo-jumbo.

It’s not just tough being a Bear in a market rigged by trade deal rumors, Federal Reserve dovishness, a tsunami of Chinese liquidity and $270 billion in stock buy-backs in the first quarter–it’s impossible. Even “smarter than the average Bear” Yogi couldn’t beat the market, and so he ended up taking one for the Jellystone team so other Bears might live to fight another day:

Perhaps the best way to describe the impossibility of being a Bear in a rigged market is to employ an analogy. (Not that a rigged market is actually a market; it’s been transformed into a simulacrum “market” that’s the one signifier of economic well-being: if the “market” continues lofting higher, all is well with the economy and indeed, the entire status quo.)

Let’s start with a sports analogy.

Imagine you’re on a basketball court. Pathfinding our Destin... Smith, Charles Hugh Buy New $6.95 (as of 11:36 UTC - Details)

You’re being guarded by Myles Turner, the NBA’s leader in blocked shots.

You make it to the half court line and find a chain-link fence blocks the court a few feet from the line, meaning your only shot is from half court.

When you manage to release a Hail Mary shot, a steel plate slams down on top of the rim, blocking any ball that might have lucked into the net.

That’s what being a Bear in a rigged market is like.

Here’s another analog, courtesy of my friend and colleague Adam T.:

You are David, armed only with a sling and a projectile, entering the arena to face the fearsome Goliath.

Instead of a rock, you’re given a foam ball.

Meanwhile Goliath has a bazooka.

Let the contest begin!

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