On the Merits of Ugly Cars

Remember that song about making an ugly woman your wife so as to be happy for the rest of your life? It applies to cars just as much.

Like the pretty girls, everyone wants the pretty cars. This drives up the cost of acquisition. Also, one tends to put up with more hassles than one otherwise might.

Ugly girls, on the other hand, are appreciative – and inexpensive (usually).

Same goes for ugly cars.

Consider, as a for-instance, the notoriously unattractive Pontiac Aztek. And – even more so – its almost-as-homely sister, the Buick Rendezvous.

Neither were bad rides.

Just ugly ones.

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Result? You could – and still can – pick either up of these “babes” for an extremely attractive price. Less than $5,000 will buy you a pristine one, in fact. Low miles, the body cladding still intact (if loosely fitted). They make look ooglay, but don’t forget that the mechanicals aren’t.  The boilerplate V6 engines that power both are identical to the ones you’d find in more popular (and more expensive to buy) GM vehicles and they run just as well in the not-so-popular Aztek and Rendezvous.

Never forget the object of this exercise: To not spend much on transpo. And keep in mind what Ben Franklin said about gray cats and dark rooms… .

There are other examples, cases in point.

A hail-damaged car, for example.

Consider her the equivalent of the otherwise nice-looking chick who has a pockmarked face. This can be overlooked.

The good news – for you – is that most buyers won’t overlook it. The car – even if it is a popular model – is suddenly a hard sell. Which makes it a cheap sell. They ship hail damaged cars from places like Texas and Oklahoma to other places – usually, via auction – where the bidding is typically low. If you have never thought about attending a car auction as a way to find a cheap date, you ought to.

Stay away from flood-damaged cars, though. That (water-logging) is the vehicular equivalent of crotch rot. You want no part of either, no matter how good she looks.

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