3 Common Mistakes To Avoid When Apologizing

When I was a young leader, one of my biggest growth areas was apologizing. For ambitious entrepreneurs, saying you’re sorry can be a difficult thing to master. I get it. Young entrepreneurs want to move fast. Taking the time to stop, apologize, and remedy a situation can feel like an unnecessary waste of time.

But I’ve found that the ability to apologize immediately, and with sincerity, is essential for being a great leader. You can’t ask your team to take responsibility for their actions if you’re unwilling to take responsibility for your own. And let’s be honest: there will be times when you make a mistake that demands an apology, and those who follow you will need to hear it. It comes with the territory of running a business and running it well. Failing Forward: Turni... Maxwell, John C. Best Price: $3.66 Buy New $5.60 (as of 08:30 UTC - Details)

Not only is the ability to apologize well the mark of a good leader, it’s essential for team unity. When you spend most of your days working alongside the same people, there will be moments of conflict where unity will be tested. But conflict can be healthy, and a sincere apology is the best way to diffuse a situation in a clean and quick manner.

Here are the 3 biggest apology cop outs made by leaders who haven’t mastered apologizing, with recommendations for how to do better.

Cop Out #1: The Non-Apology Apology

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We’ve all heard these. “If I did anything to hurt or offend you…” or “Whatever I did was completely on accident…” This is not a real apology. If you need to apologize to a person, then do it. If you’re not willing to acknowledge your actions and how they’ve hurt someone, you’re wasting both your time and the offended person’s time.

Recommendation: Be specific about what the wrong was. Take ownership of your actions and how they affected the person. Sincerity wins the day.

Cop-Out #2: The Justification Apology Great Again: How to Fi... Donald J. Trump Best Price: $1.36 Buy New $8.61 (as of 03:40 UTC - Details)

If you try to assign blame to someone else or just chalk things up to a misunderstanding, you’re not actually apologizing. You’re justifying. Phrases like, “I’m sorry for how that appeared, but…” and “That happened because what this person did…” rob apologies of their healing properties. Just like you don’t want poor excuses from your team, your team doesn’t want poor excuses from you.

As a leader, there will be times when you need to accept responsibility for something when you could easily pass the buck on to someone else. Maybe someone on your team failed, but it’s you as their leader who needs to take the responsibility for it. Your ego and ambition need to take a back seat to team unity.

Recommendation: Avoid the word “but” in apologies. Also avoid bringing up anyone else in the apology. It should be about you making things right between you and the person or team in front of you. Period.

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