Lena Dunham Killed Phyllis Stewart Schlafly

Phyllis Stewart Schlafly passed away on Monday after half a century of warning us about the dangers of feminism and I’m convinced she died of a broken heart. After discovering we are living in a world that venerates the likes of Lena Dunham, she decided life was no longer worth living and went gently into that good night. An old, amateur Wiki entry trivialized Phyllis’ work thusly:

Schlafly believed that if women were given equal rights they would be drafted into the military, that unisex bathrooms would be mandated and that same sex marriages would be legalized, none of which were correct. Schlafly also believed that with having the Equal Rights Amendment the atmosphere and the “traditional home life” would be disrupted.

That last hyperlink, entitled “My Brother’s Pregnancy and the Making of a New American Family,” features a woman with a beard “chest-feeding” her son because she thinks she’s a man and moms don’t have breasts when they’re dads, got it? A number of injections, hormones, fake smiles, and suspensions of disbelief required to make his “brother’s pregnancy” appear normal is enough to make you wish Phyllis croaked about fifteen years ago.

Back in the 1960s, Schlafly opposed the ERA because she recognized that it only purported to be about equality when, ultimately, it was about sabotage. Feminists rail against the patriarchy, claiming we have to move over and let them replace us, but when handed the keys to the city they let them fall on the floor and say, “Whoops.” They want to be the same as men when it comes to fun stuff like being action heroes and making lots of money in advertising, but when it comes to sanitation and sewage they are a silent fart. Pretending women are the same as men is like putting your dad on the runway during Fashion Week and saying, “Werk it!” It’s a ridiculous mess that makes up new rules as it goes along and fucks up the lives of everyone it touches, especially women.

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As Schlafly was dying, a talk-show host in Australia was complaining about a comment Dunham made in 2005. Apparently, a 19-year-old Dunham wrote in her diary, “I dreamed I was a prostitute and that I molested a little African American rodent.” This is news because young girls find it interesting. They have incredible buying power and thus have undue influence on the economy. Bill Hicks warned us of this decades after Schlafly, but still decades ago. While expressing his horror that Debbie Gibson had the No. 1 album in the country, he asked the audience, “Is there that much babysitting money being passed around right now?” There is. After writing little more than a racist dream journal, Dunham got her own movie, then a TV show, and soon after, a $3.7M book deal. This has since become small beans as Amy Schumer was recently gifted at least $8M to write a book. To be clear, men who have been hammering away at a keyboard their whole lives would be very lucky to clear $100K, and if we ever get our own show, we may be able to get to $1M. Eight million dollars simply does not happen to male writers, especially if they have the language at their disposal.

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