There’re three questions strangers pose to me that cause me to lose hope in the long-term viability of the human race. The first one is, “Did you watch (insert lame TV show or sports game/program here) on TV last night?!” The second is, “Hey, you gonna play the Powerball?! The lottery is up to ten million bucks!” And third and last is, “Who are you voting for?” Ok, in order: Television is the best circus to pacify and entertain the masses since the Roman Coliseum went Chapter 11. If anyone thinks the government isn’t telling you what they wish you to believe on that device, you are sadly mistaken. The lottery is a gambling game run by your state government. So, let me guess…you also play those games on the carnival midway and think you’ll win those, too, am I correct? Lastly, voting is just an iteration of the government-run lottery. Except the “prize”, so to speak, couldn’t be sold for a mangled, road-found penny if it was for sale in a vending machine. In fact, I think they should just put the election ballots where they belong: In those vending machines sitting in supermarket lobbies, along with all the fake tattoos and plastic hip-hop jewelry.
Think about it for a moment. The state government runs a gambling system that is pretty much a gigantic money-making enterprise. Plus, they get to tax the winnings! Man, they get some of it right back! They also often dole out the big winnings in yearly payments, probably so you can’t abscond the country with it all. But everyone I know that has played this regime rip-off has never won so much as ten bucks but has lost cash up into the hundreds of dollars. I tend to think the guy who wins the jackpot is probably a government shill to begin with. That’s how most gambling scams work and the government ought to know since they run the biggest one called “elections”.
The feds run the absolute biggest one because they haven’t got a lottery to bilk the people with. Instead, they have what amounts to a “voting lottery” where you get a ticket in the form of a ballot and you pick who you think the winner will be. Now, you can “win” this lottery and still lose. That’s the beauty of the scam, and I’ve got to hand it to them on that note. Look how many people thought when Obama won, they also “won” because they voted for him. Yay! Free health care! No more wars! No more poverty! Uh-huh. And what have we here? Obamacare which is getting close to making affordable health care unaffordable and already has for millions of Americans. Another war in the Middle East over some vague objective similar to something from George W. Bush speak. And escalating poverty made even more so by forcing people to buy health insurance they really can’t afford.
I saw on the news the other day that Hillary plans to “aggressively” push Obamacare enrollment. “Aggressively”, huh? What does that mean? SWAT teams on standby to cart the unObamacared off to re-Obamacare meant camps where they’ll be forced to watch “An Inconvenient Truth” on a non-stop feedback loop and eat a vegan diet based on legumes and pulses? Or perhaps a federal ID card proving you have health insurance, which will be used as necessary ID to get a job like a Social Security card? People will vote for Hillary thinking they’re going to “win” and she won’t also deliver up another war (or continue the one Obama has begun.) Yeah, you’ll “win” all right. Just like all those discarded lottery tickets sitting in front of convenient stores across America, feverishly scratched off with the last penny to reveal the following: SUCKER!
The difference between the lottery and voting is you don’t need a penny in your pocket to vote. You don’t need to scratch off the grey film to reveal who will win. Although that might not be a bad idea. Scratch off the grey film and: “You just elected Hillary Clinton and won a free snowcone, redeemable at government buildings where government Powerball Politics ballots are honored!” Gee, what flavors of snow cones have they got? Oh, yeah, right. Baloney, government cheese, and MRE frankenfurters. That’s always a given with the government.
I’m old enough to remember how the public schools would have their own “elections” to brainwash us into thinking we lived in some kind of genuine democracy instead of this Potemkinocracy constructed from government cheese, graham cracker fallout shelter rations (that’s what was in those cans—I checked), and the biggest lottery scam in the history of the world. They’d pass out these copied ballots, still wet from the copy machines they had back then and have us mark our choice with those big, fat pencils they had back then. The pencils that didn’t have erasers, by the way, so we couldn’t erase those mistakes just like when voting for real now. We’d seen the Fall of Saigon on the news and the 1973 Arab Oil Embargo, and enjoyed free government milk, so we marked the ballot for the guy least likely to make us do homework. As if we knew any better who to pick back then, than we do now.
By the way, another tiresome TV question I get is, “Didjya see the debates on TeeVee last night?!” No, actually. I was busy oiling my bicycle chain and following up by julienning some carrots and trying to craft them into a new vegan breakfast cereal I can make into the next fad-food with a little showmanship and the right celebrity endorsement. “Jack’s Carrot Crunch! What a great way to start your day! Just add soy milk! Gluten-Free! Sustainable! Dog-Friendly!” And I won’t promise free health care or college in every box, either. Instead, the prize in the box will be a lick-and-stick election ballot tattoo. “How come you’ve got a smudged Hillary on your forearm?!” “Because that’s the one that came in the box!”
But, hey, be my guest. Play the lottery. Go vote. Same thing.
