How well-mannered are YOU? Take our etiquette expert's quiz to find out whether you're ready to dine with the Queen or need to go back to finishing school 

  • Etiquette expert William Hanson has devised the ultimate test in manners 
  • You can test your knowledge of table manners and dinner dress 
  • Score 9 or above and you're perfect but anything below 6 is 'tragic'

'Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot', so said Clarence Thomas, an American lawyer. Very apt!

So just how perfect is your politesse?

Can you hob nob with the crème de la crème, or are you more Crystal Palace than Buckingham Palace? Take my quick quiz to find out.

William Hanson (pictured) has devised the ultimate quiz to test how perfect your politesse is

1) When invited to a dinner at 7.30pm at a private house, what time should you arrive?

a) 7.20pm

b) 7.30pm

c) 7.40pm

2) When served as a first course, which is the correct way to eat asparagus?

a) With a knife and fork

b) With just a fork (in the right hand)

c) With the fingers

When leaving the table during a meal with the intention to return where should you leave your napkin? On the table, chair or on the floor? 

When leaving the table during a meal with the intention to return where should you leave your napkin? On the table, chair or on the floor? 

3) You have returned home from a weekend stay at your friend's house. Correctly, how long should the thank you letter be?

a) One side

b) Two sides

c) Doesn't matter so long as there is a thank you letter

4) The Duke of Decorum dies. When can his eldest son start using his late father's title?

a) The moment the Duke dies

b) Once the will has been read

c) When the funeral ends

Are opened toed shoes acceptable for indoor evening events? 

Are opened toed shoes acceptable for indoor evening events? 

5) When leaving the table during a meal but with every intention of returning, the napkin should be placed where?

a) On the table

b) On the chair

c) On the floor

6) When dining with The Queen and you notice the Monarch has finished, you should…

a) Finish too, regardless of whether you still have more to eat

b) Quickly finish what you can on your plate

c) Carry on eating until The Queen looks bored

7) For smart, indoor evening events, open-toed shoes are acceptable. True or false?

a) True

b) False

8) What does 'place à table' (French) mean in English?

a) Seating plan

b) Table setting

c) Room layout

d) Sideboard

9) The top tier of a wedding cake is traditionally reserved for what?

a) The bride & groom to consume in their new house

b) The mother of the bride

c) The Christening of the first-born

d) To feed the waiting staff

10) Candles should never be lit before what time of day?

a) 4pm

b) 5pm

c) 6pm

d) 7pm

Who is the top tier of a wedding cake reserved for in British tradition? For the bride and groom to eat in their new home, the mother of the bride, the christening of their first born or for the waiting staff? 

Who is the top tier of a wedding cake reserved for in British tradition? For the bride and groom to eat in their new home, the mother of the bride, the christening of their first born or for the waiting staff? 

11) The flap on the envelope for social correspondence (birthday cards, thank you letters, invitations) should be what shape?

a) Inverted triangle

b) Rectangular

12) In Britain, it is correct to present a business card in which hand?

a) Left

b) Right

c) With both

1) Answer: C – it is the custom to arrive ten minutes late to social engagement. This allows the host a little breathing space and shows that you aren't too keen. Showing up early is almost as bad as showing up late!

2) Answer C – so long as the Hollandaise sauce is not served already poured over the asparagus, this is a finger food. In the UK it is picked up and eaten with the left hand.

3) Answer B – Although a short thank you letter is better than none at all, traditionally one would write two pages by way of a thank you letter to your hosts. Not two sides of A4, social correspondence paper is roughly what we now call A5 in size.

4) Answer C – you are not socially dead until after the funeral and it is customary for eldest sons to wait until after this before they style themselves with their new title.

5) Answer B – the napkin on the arm or seat of the chair signals to staff and any guests that see it that you will be returning. In formal dining, however, you do not leave the table at all – unless you are the host/cook and you need to return to the kitchen.

6) Answer A – Correct protocol means that all diners should stop eating within a few moments of The Monarch. Queen Victoria was a very quick eater and also particularly rude and would not even care if the end of the table hadn't even been served by the time she had finished – meaning a lot of people went hungry. Our current Queen is also a quick eater but much more considerate to her guests, thankfully! But still, when she stops eating, you stop too!

Candles should only be lit after a certain time but do you know what hour it is? 

Candles should only be lit after a certain time but do you know what hour it is? 

7) Answer B – Always closed-toe shoes for formal evening events.

8) Answer A – If you want to impress, ask you hostess what the place à table is before entering the dining room. If you are the male guest of honour, expect to be seated to the right of the hostess; the female guest of honour, to the right of the host. Smart houses will ensure the guests are placed boy-girl-boy-girl.

9) Answer C – Traditionally, wedding cakes are fruitcakes, often with nuts – these ingredients being used to symbolise fertility. In America, the top tier is reserved for the couple's first wedding anniversary, but in the UK it is reserved for the birth of the first-born. Thankfully, fruitcakes keep for a long time if stored correctly!

10) Answer C – candles are evening only accessories. Candles are lit and ladies' hats are removed at six o'clock.

11) Answer A – social letters need triangular flaps, whereas all business correspondence needs straight-edged rectangular flaps.

12) Answer B – in Britain and Europe we present business cards in our right hand, the text of the card facing the recipient. In Asia business cards are presented (and received) with both hands.

HOW DID YOU DO?  

All 12 correct Go and rewarded yourself with a dry sherry. Well done!

11-9 Practically perfect, but not quite. Just a few more hours at charm school needed.

8-6 Average at best. Average won't get you anywhere socially or professionally. You had better brush up your act sharpish.

5-3 Somewhat tragic. You can do better, and you know it.

2-0 Not so much a question of attending a Finishing School for you, you are more in need of a Starting School. 

 

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