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The Covert Joint Mobile Mission

It’s like a Monty Python skit – except it’s not funny.

The Covert Joint Mobile Mission. Sounds all rugged and special ops, doesn’t it?

But these body-armored geeks are just jacked-up traffic cops looking for seatbelt violations and such. In a blacked-out tour bus, these low-rent Rambos prowl the North Texas highways looking for offenders. The height of the coach giving them a bird’s-eye view inside your car.

And if they see you’re not buckled up for safety or texting then – Hut! Hut! Hut! – they radio to a colleague in a car who Hot Pursuits the dangerous scofflaw.

All beady-eyed and buzzcut, their mirrored sunglasses reflecting their resolve.

“A good observation platform,” explains one bullet-headed Geek …while his partner earnestly scans traffic, walkie-talkie in hand, ready to pounce.

“Ok, this other white Dodge with paper plates… they were texting while driving.”

Lock and load!

It’s just like Kandahar – only the “indigs” are just people trying to get to work rather than working on IEDs.

Of course, these Heroes are not themselves buckled up for safety. Apparently, the laws of physics do not apply to those in special costumes.

Much less the laws we’re expected to obey.

Like the laws against exceeding the speed limit, ever – for any reason. It applies to us but not to them.

Never point this out. It is like trying to teach a pig (whoops!) to sing. It gets you nowhere and it makes the pig angry.

Remember, it’s all about keeping us safe. We are delicate Faberge eggs and they are our conservators and guardians, vigilantly watching over us for our own good.

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