The year 2015 saw an absolutely bumper crop of fake hate crimes, fictional racist events, bogus claims of anti-gay animus and comically sad misunderstandings about innocent symbols.
It’s hard to know where to start. America’s precious-snowflake college students and various hangers-on came up with so many incidents ranging from definitively fake to almost certainly fake. The best thing to do is just kick back, relax and enjoy 2015’s greatest hits of hoaxes in all their dumb glory.
1. Delusional students at the University of Missouri were so dizzy with racism they saw imaginary Ku Klux Klan hoods. In November, following the forced resignation of the university president, an attack on student journalists attempting to cover protests, a poop swastika, a brief strike by 32 football players and a six-day hunger strike by the fancypants-rich-boy son of a millionaire railroad executive, hysterical students created a bogus rumor that the Ku Klux Klan was roaming campus. It was a Tuesday night. Twitter began to explode with students and others claiming that KKK members had been spotted walking around Mizzou’s flagship Columbia campus. The rumors appear to have been given major life after the student body president, Payton Head, made a Facebook post declaring that the KKK sighting had been confirmed and that he was actively working with police and even the National Guard on the matter.R
2. A Columbia University student pitched a fit and cried racism because she couldn’t get into a Yale frat party. A Halloween party thrown by the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity chapter at Yale University caused a huge fracas after a Columbia student visiting campus claimed she was denied entry because it was “white girls only.” The Columbia student, Sofia Petros-Gouin, said an SAE member repeatedly declared “White girls only” and only permitted white women — specifically blonde white women — to enter. “I was shocked,” Petros-Gouin told gullible Washington Post reporter Susan Svrluga. “I was disgusted.” Later, the fraternity’s president said another Yale student hocked a loogie on him. Also, Yale students insulted black SAE members by calling them “Uncle Toms.” Yale officials opened an official investigation. They conducted scores of interviews. About a month later, school officials concluded that exactly no racism had actually occurred at the frat’s Halloween party. “Before the party became crowded, all students — including men and women of color — were admitted on a first come, first-served basis,” a Yale dean wrote. Later, when the party was hopping and people started queueing outside to get in, frat members began turning people away with “harsh language” — but no racism.
3. Students at the University of Delaware freaked out because they thought the remains of lanterns hanging from a tree were nooses. Pandemonium struck students and administrators alike at the University of Delaware in November after students claimed they discovered at least three nooses hanging from trees after a Black Lives Matter rally. The alleged nooses were found dangling from a tree on the quad. A police investigation was rapidly launched. Once police officers actually took a close look at the “nooses,” they “determined that the three noose-like items found outside Mitchell Hall were not instruments of a hate crime, but the remnants of paper lanterns from an event previously held on The Green,” as the president of the public school duly explained. After the “hate crime” was exposed as a total non-event, school officials doubled on the necessity of fighting hate on campus.