I recently heard comedian Nick DiPaolo say, “I don’t think I can watch Angelina Jolie beat the shit out of six Green Berets. My suspension of disbelief just can’t take it.” He was describing the art of ruining a great movie with propaganda, which is becoming the norm. The morbidly obese Melissa McCarthy is clenching her fists and making men cry while adolescent girls annihilate street thugs for using homophobic slurs. I’ve discussed men’s role in creating this mess before, but it’s everywhere now and it’s permeated every part of our culture. If you just landed here from outer space, you’d assume cis white scum like DiPaolo are functionally retarded and Western society is run by white women, black men, and a smattering of gays. We’ve gone from providing women and minorities with inspiring role models to turning them all into infallible gods who are constantly held back by bumbling white men.
Homer Simpson is borderline retarded, but his daughter Lisa deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. Peter Griffin and Al Bundy are equally useless (outside of the part where they work their fingers to the bone to provide for a bunch of ingrates). When my kids turn on cartoons all I see is girls in lab coats and blacks with glasses solving complex problems while some white boy stumbles in and blurts out, “DUH!”
Adult programming is the same. Is there a head of surgery on TV who isn’t black? Sir Lancelot is now black. The Ghostbusters are women. Thor is black. Mad Max is a woman. Spider-Man is black. Ocean’s 11 is all women. Meat Loaf is gay. The Honeymooners are black. James Bond is black or maybe he’ll be gay. At the beginning of the Annie reboot where we discover she’s now black, she performs for her classmates and tells them welfare-state pioneer FDR was the greatest president ever because he brought us the New Deal. Later in the movie, we discover Annie can’t read. Nice utopia, you Feel-Good Communists. That’s what’s so annoying about watching these people push us into the passenger seat. They can’t drive. The fake world they’re forcing down our throats is as boring to watch as it is totally implausible.
“Remember when you said men are superior drivers?” asks a wimp’s smug little girlfriend in an ad for Allstate insurance. “Er, yeah?” he stammers as she pulls a check from her purse and—with a black man’s voice—says, “Then how’d I get this safe driving bonus check?” Uh, I don’t know, lady, maybe because you’re good at driving? We never said all women are bad at driving. We know Kitty O’Neil set the land-speed record, but we’ve noticed that overall, women tend to be inferior drivers. Ever seen NASCAR? The boyfriend in the commercial wouldn’t dare fight back because, well, how can you win an argument with an empowered woman who has a black man in her mouth?