How to ALWAYS win an argument with your other half: The five simple rules to triumph in a row

  • Author Jonathan Herring from Oxford penned a book called How To Argue 
  • No-holds-barred guide offers tips on how to win heated exchanges
  • Recommends trying to stay friends with a loved one after a row   

By Sarah Barns For Mailonline

Published: | Updated:

A pile of dirty dishes, leaving the toilet seat up and coming home drunk from the pub are just some of the scenarios that can spark blazing rows up and down the country.

In order to help couples squabble more successfully, leading lawyer Jonathan Herring has penned a book called How To Argue. 

In his entertaining, no-holds-barred guide, the Oxford-based professor reveals everything Brits need to know about bickering and tips on how to emerge triumphant.

A pile of dirty dishes, leaving the toilet seat up and coming home drunk from the pub... these are just some of the scenarios that can spark rows up and down the country (Picture posed by models)

A pile of dirty dishes, leaving the toilet seat up and coming home drunk from the pub... these are just some of the scenarios that can spark rows up and down the country (Picture posed by models)

Before bumping heads with a loved one, Jonathan says it's vital to fully think through what it is you want to say.

'Make sure you know the essential points you want to make,' he said. 'Before starting an argument think carefully about what it is you are arguing about and what it is you want. This may sound obvious. But it's critically important. '

After considering the strengths and weaknesses of your points, Jonathan says the timing and location of your quarrel is crucial.

'Think carefully before you start to argue: is this the time; is this the place?' he said. 

Before bumping heads with a loved one, Jonathan says it's vital to fully think through what it is you want to say (Picture posed by models)

Before bumping heads with a loved one, Jonathan says it's vital to fully think through what it is you want to say (Picture posed by models)

Many people lose arguments because they get caught up in the heat of the moment and don't fully listen to what it is the other person is saying. 

To be victorious in a feud, Jonathan says you should let the other person do most of the talking.

'It sounds silly, but you should aim to listen for 75 per cent of the argument and only speak for 25 per cent of it,' he said. 'If you listen intently you'll be able to beat their line of argument more easily.'

HOW TO WIN EVERY ARGUMENT  

1. Be prepared and fully think through what           you want to say

2. Chose the correct time and place

3. Listen to what the other person is saying

4. Have a 'get out' plan

5. Try and remain friends with a loved one   

While being prepared and listening is key, he says that you should always have a 'get out' plan. 

To stop the row 'ending in a deadlock' having a 'preformed solution' can put an end to any uncomfortable arguments and help you to get what you want. 

Jonathan's final tip is to try and stay friends with your partner despite the conflict.

'You've got to ask yourself what the end game is when you're arguing with your partner,' he said. 'If you want to embarrass or humiliate them then it's eventually going to be bad for your relationship.

'Make sure there's a way you can make up, a sort of escape plan, so it doesn't linger longer than it needs to.'

Many people lose arguments because they get caught up in the moment and don't fully listen to what it is the other person is saying (Picture posed by models)

Many people lose arguments because they get caught up in the moment and don't fully listen to what it is the other person is saying (Picture posed by models)


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