We’re told it’s not safe to text while drive because that’s a distraction. But how about all these buzzers and flashing lights and (yes, it’s true) suddenly vibrating seats and steering wheels? Many new cars comes equipped with some – or all – of the following:
Blind Spot Detection
Lane Change Assist
Lane Departure Warning
Cross Traffic Alert
Brake Assist/Collision Mitigation
Park Assist
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Drowsy Driver Warning
Pedestrian Detection Warning
Plus air bag sensors so sensitive they sense a “person” in the passenger seat when all you’ve got riding shotgun is a footlong from Subway.
Each with a buzzer/beeper and light show.
Plus multiple in-car LCD touchscreens, various mice and menus and (yes) Wi-Fi Internet access.
Is it all not… distracting to be accosted by such?
All new luxury cars – and more and more mid-tier (and soon, all) cars have or will have “safety” systems that buzz/beep/vibrate/flash angry warnings at you when – in the judgment of the sensors – you do something “unsafe” such as let your wheels touch the yellow or white painted lines in the road (Lane Departure Warning) or get within 10 yards of another car as during passing, or when drawing up behind a car turning off the road (Collision Mitigation/Brake Assist).
These flashing red warning lights and frantic beeps that erupt literally out of nowhere – and arguably, for no good reason – when you fail to slam on the brakes because the sensors think you ought to are the “e” equivalent of a shrieking child or your mother-in-law poking you in the ribs from behind.
And pretty damned distracting.
Especially now that it’s become a kind of symphony.
Multiple buzzers and lights and vibrating steering wheels and seats, dancing together in a lurchy, unpredictable syncopation that works on you not unlike those recordings of screaming rabbits the DEA played at top volume toward the Branch Davidians hunkered in their compound at Waco.
You put your car in reverse and begin to back up out of a parking spot. Beep! Beep! Beep! The Park Sensors alert you to the not-near presence of another car you already see. But your concentration’s been broken. You reflexively stab the brakes. Or you actually do back into something because the buzzer and light show confused/startled you momentarily.
You’re driving along and up ahead – far ahead – a car has its right signal on and is slowing to make the turn-off. You do the mental calculation and know you can maintain a certain speed/closing distance because by the time you actually get to where the turning-off car is, it’ll be gone. But the Collision Mitigation System wants you to brake 30 yards out – for “safety” – and if you don’t, on comes the absolutely frantic Flashing Red Light show, accompanied by the shrieking Beep! Beep! Beep!
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