Pirate Baywatch

Last week, we learned Sony Pictures had been hacked and millions of people were downloading movies still in theaters. Sony seems to think North Korea may be behind it all, as their forthcoming film The Interview was deemed an “act of war” by the Pyongyang government. It’s about two CIA guys posing as journalists so they can assassinate Kim Jong-un.

Yeah, right. North Korea can’t even feed itself. You think they have the resources to shut down a massive corporation’s computers? Pirating movies is still pretty difficult, isn’t it? The WWII blockbuster Fury has been downloaded at least 1.2 million times, so I thought I’d give it a whirl. The first step to downloading a film illegally is to talk to a young person. Millennials may not know anything about the real world, but once you step inside the Matrix, they’re the only ones who know what’s going on. I was told that all you have to do to get any film or TV show is type in the name of the movie and include the acronym TPB which stands for “The Pirate Bay.”

A peer-to-peer site founded in Sweden, thepiratebay.se somehow gets away with hosting millions of movies and shows that have been compressed into computer files that the kids today call “torrents.” Torrents are useless by themselves but there are plenty of programs that can decipher them, the most popular one being Vuze.

Finding Fury wasn’t easy. The only one available had comments complaining of giant Spanish subtitles that obscured the film; another commenter explained that the video had been shot by a handheld camera in the theater. Most of the results for the film said: “In response to a complaint we received under the U.S. Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we have removed 1 result(s) from this page.” This happened almost every time I looked up a movie in theaters or a TV series that wasn’t on DVD.

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