We're havin' us a Party!

Hey, didja see the news about Secretary of State John Kerry addressing the Congress about sending ground troops to fight ISIS? Wow, he sounds like Shania Twain in the song “Party For Two”! And, of course, the Congress is the reluctant date in the song, really wanting to go but making up lame excuses not to in order to play hard-to-get. “Hey, Congress, I’m havin’ a war…wanna come?” “Nahhh, I don’t think so, Kerry…” “Aww, come on! It’s gonna be lots of fun!” “Nahhh…” Check out what Kerry says here in his duet with Congress:

“The president has been clear that his policy is that U.S. military forces will not be deployed to conduct ground combat operations,” Kerry said.

Against the State: An ... Rockwell Jr., Llewelly... Best Price: $5.02 Buy New $5.52 (as of 11:35 EST - Details) “However,” (the BIG “however”!) he added, “while we certainly believe this is the soundest policy, and while the president has been clear he’s open to clarifications on the use of U.S. combat troops to be outlined in an Authorization of Use of Military Force, that does not mean we should preemptively bind the hands of the commander-in-chief — or our commanders in the field — in responding to scenarios and contingencies that are impossible to foresee.” Looks like he wants to get the party started! Why bind the president’s hands, after all? He’s “open to clarification” on the use of U.S. combat troops? This means using combat troops but calling them something else. Gosh, what will they wear? No, really, these soldiers are here to sell encyclopedias door-to-door! And “scenarios and contingencies that are impossible to foresee”? You mean like suddenly, accidently toppling Assad? Oh, come on, Kerry! But right now, Kerry is just walking around, passing out the invitations. This party’s gonna be really, really hot! Wow, we gotta be there! Suicide Pact: The Radi... Napolitano, Andrew P. Best Price: $0.25 Buy New $2.84 (as of 04:15 EST - Details)

Kerry’s havin’ him a war, but Congress doesn’t think they can come. At least not right now. See, the question of ground troops in combat explains the administration’s preference for postponing the AUMF debate to January, when war-eager Republicans will control both houses of Congress. While many Democrats would rather stay at home, Republicans have repeatedly said let’s get the party started. Waiting until Congress is entirely in Republican hands would also dump the party into the GOP’s lap when the cops show up, thus insulating the Democratic Party’s 2016 presidential nominee from criticism. So, see this? They’re already planning on losing this war or it turning into another senseless, futile bloodbath and then losing it. The actual need for ground troops is obviously not some kind of an “emergency”, or they wouldn’t wait until January. It ain’t a New Year’s Eve party! Think of this, folks. The question isn’t Progressivism: A Prime... James Ostrowski Best Price: $8.99 Buy New $10.95 (as of 08:30 EST - Details) The Lone Gladio Sibel D. Edmonds Best Price: $2.36 Buy New $15.49 (as of 03:55 EST - Details) how many people will die (pay attention those of you with kids in the military.) The question is how can we get into a war and not lose the 2016 presidential election if it goes sour which we already know it will. Because if they thought they would win, they’d go in right now to have a SUCCESS of their own without the Republicans for the 2016 election. Do these people really care about human life? Change you can believe in! (To fill body bags.)

The Dude of State Kerry also said that the administration does not want an AUMF to impose any geographic limitations on its war against ISIS. “We don’t anticipate conducting operations in countries other than Iraq or Syria,” he said. “But to the extent that ISIL poses a threat to American interests and personnel in other countries, we would not want an AUMF to constrain our ability to use Real Dissent: A Libert... Thomas E. Woods Jr. Best Price: $8.48 Buy New $7.93 (as of 03:10 EST - Details) appropriate force against ISIL in those locations if necessary. In our view, it would be a mistake to advertise to ISIL that there are safe havens for them outside of Iraq and Syria.” Heyyyy! Check out that hot mess over there in Iran! I’m sure Iran will dig that, especially when they weren’t even invited to the party in the first place. And here Kerry is already covering his six in case he’s caught puking in their flowerbeds during it. No, they don’t “anticipate” the party spilling over into other peoples’ backyards, but hey, it could happen! I’m sure everyone over there is just going to dance right along to the music. Right. Their party favors might just include a few surface-to-air missile batteries to hotfoot our aircraft as the ultimate party prank.

Hey, what about Assad? Are we still planning on punking him at this party? That question was asked by Republican Senator Bob Amazon.com $50 Gift Ca... Best Price: null Buy New $50.00 (as of 11:05 EST - Details) Corker (no party-theme pun intended) of Tennessee: “Do we plan to militarily go against Assad?” “Not at this moment, no,” Kerry replied. Ah, not “at this moment”, meaning not at the exact second Kerry replied. But two seconds later, the answer can change to yes. In fact, it probably has. It’s a time measurement thing, you see. When you’re talking to the Congress, we’re not planning to depose Assad. But after getting home and taking your tie off and pouring yourself a scotch, well, sure, Assad needs to go. And let the cat outside while you’re up. Kerry already plans on dancing at this party with the lampshade off Assad’s desk perched on his head. Probably dancing on Assad’s desk, too. Woo-hooo!

Anyone see what they’re planning here? Another failed war, with the excuses already in hand and people to blame already falling for it. Another quagmire that’s going to cost thousands of lives, maim thousands of others, and cost another trillion dollars. But, hey, let’s party hearty! And let’s hope that Putin doesn’t crash the party so we can see how Ukraine feels on the other foot, too. But in all seriousness, look again at what they’re planning. They want to get ground troops into Syria, supposedly to fight ISIS. They’ll go in through Iraq, more than likely. So, we’re out of Iraq, back into Iraq, but only long enough to get into Syria, and we might need to go other places, too, but we don’t know about them yet. Then we’ll fight ISIS and, oops, we accidently toppled Assad in the process! There’s going to be a lot of hangovers after this party, that I can pretty much guarantee you. If it’s anything like the past ones we’ve had, it’ll go on for ten years until we’ve finally gotten bored with it and go home.

This is disgusting. Once again, here we go into another futile war to make the enemies we’ll need to fight after this one ends ten years from now. Another slaughter, and for what? To “defend” us against ISIS? Come on, man! I’m not buyin’ it! The real reason for this war is why ISIS was created by the United States in the first place: Getting rid of Assad. Then we’ll act shocked when the Syrian people don’t want us in their country and start a resistance movement to get us out. But, hey, we’re already planning on losing this war, so it’s all good. Nothing to see here, folks, move along. Your government has just had a little too much to drink, that’s all.