Make Sushi, Not War

Most of us have had a spat with the neighbors at some point. It’s inevitable. For civilized people, we can deal with it and manage to work out some sort of compromise so that we can remain on good terms with that lying no good bum who lives next door. For governments and other gangsters, this sort of thing is a big problem that often leads to violence.

For example, Japan and China have been arguing about some islands that are kind of half way between the two countries. Here in Japan, the islands are called “Senkaku,” in China they are called “Diaoyu,” and in the rest of the world they are called “some rocks in the middle of nowhere.”

For decades the argument has continued and in the past year, after the being nationalized by Japan’s genius politicians, the tensions have grown rapidly. Guess what? No one even lives there, but there might be natural gas nearby; so two great nations are fighting over the islands like 4-year-old kids grabbing for a sand shovel at the playground.

Some people are even worried that the conflict might lead to war.

The Japanese think, “What should the Japanese government do if the commies running China decide to snatch and grab ‘our’ Senkaku islands?” After all, Japan took them fair and square back in the 1890’s.

Or so goes the storyline here in Japan.

Should Japan call in the cavalry? You know, the big playground bully, the US military to give those reds a bloody nose? Japan has some sort of treaty or agreement or vaguely worded promise that our very dear and bestest and closest friends in Washington DC would come and defend us weak, helpless and needy Japanese should our territory be violated. They wouldn’t lie about THAT, would they?

Let’s be prepared with Plan B, I say! Not being a neo-conservative, my Plan B doesn’t involve bombing, maiming, mass murder or any sort of violence. At the risk of extending my now lifetime ban from Fox News, should the Chinese resort to blatant aggression, I would suggest that the Japanese government respond in friendship!


So, as I slip off my hippie sandals and finish humming Kumbaya, I now let you know what the heck I’m talking about.

The day the Chinese navy occupies those islands, I say Japan should invite some of the neighbors for dinner and make like friends… best friends!

In this case, we make a huge tray of sushi and invite the Dali Lama and other Tibetan activists, some Uighurs itching to be free of Chinese control, and a host of Chinese reformer-type people for a well publicized dinner.

May I suggest Friday at 7ish?

The Chinese will be furious.

As no good neighbor ever gets involved in the affairs of others, it’s essential that no military action, funding or advice be provided. Just let it be known that from now on, whenever a Chinese activist is abused; whenever Tibetans and Uighurs are threatened and bullied around by the Chinese government, they have a good friend in Japan; a place where their plight will be very well publicized, and a safe place to escape to, if need be. That’s what friends are for.

And take my word for it; the Japanese people are quite good at being “nice.”

Ruling party bosses, being the control freaks they are, absolutely hate it when anyone shines light on their crimes. Thus, Japan’s act of friendship will greatly embarrass the Chinese government and potentially encourage dissent. Internal dissent in China, as elsewhere, is always covered up. Publicizing any viewpoint that is contrary to the party line can be devastating over time, especially given that the party line everywhere and always involves lies.

Think about how Ron Paul had to be ignored during his last campaign and you’ll understand just how desperately the gang in power needs to hide the truth.

If my brilliant Plan B is implemented, the Chinese may need to focus on their internal matters, rather than worrying about gobbling up their neighbors stuff.

Sure, there may be some negative consequences. Nevertheless, whatever might happen would be better than either a shooting war or appeasement.

Certainly, Japan’s new friends would enjoy Japan’s famous cuisine, sushi. I guaranty they will still feel full and satisfied an hour later.

Maybe, after that, they’ll even have Chinese for dinner?

Edited by Mike “in Tokyo” Rogers.