Recently by Mike (in Tokyo) Rogers: Stop the Obesity Carnage! Establish a ‘No Pie Zone’ and Ban Spoons!
This is an open letter to one of my friends who is pro-gun control… Well, that’s not exactly true; he doesn't just want gun control. He wants to make all guns completely illegal.
Dear Lenny (not his real name),
About gun control: I agree with you. We need to protect the children. I understand that the best entity to do that is undoubtedly the US government. They have a proven record of success that cannot be matched!
Perhaps you should tell everyone who is against gun control about how the U.S. government protected them when they killed about 1 million Native Americans (who, by the way, didn’t have guns). Those Native Americans were savages and they had to die to make way for our God-given manifest destiny and us.
Also remind people not to forget the great protection the US government gave its own citizens when it waged a war against them and killed nearly 700,000 of them in a war to protect sanctity of the state between 1861 and 1865? A war that killed citizens that had voted in that government to protect them!
Or how, as late as about 1890, the US government righteously executed over 150 American Indians (80% were women and children) in a legal gun seizure raid at Wounded Knee? Or those evil Branch Davidians at Waco, TX in 1993, killing 76 men, women and children?
Don't forget to mention the now rarely disputed view that FDR knew about and encouraged the Japanese to attack Pearl Harbor — and didn’t allow his commanders to know about it, so that 2400+ Americans died? FDR did that to save lives!
Sure, sometimes there are tough choices to make, right? But remind everyone that the US government are always the Good Guys, with God on our side. Everyone makes mistakes, but at least our government means well.
Isn't it wonderful living in the greatest country in the world?
Oh, and don't forget to mention about how the U.S. government — which would never turn on its citizens — imprisoned about 112,000 peaceful Japanese Americans during WWII? And also imprisoned peaceful German Americans during both world wars (over 2,000 in World War I and over 11,000 in World War II.)
Or, don't forget to mention shooting peaceful student protestors and killing them at Kent State in 1970! Sure, those things happened… But it was for those students’ own protection!
9/11? What? There another 3000 died. But no one could possibly imagine that our benevolent leaders would intentionally allow the world’s most powerful, most feared, air force to sit at base doing nothing at the time, right? Let us never tolerate outrageous conspiracy theories concerning the attacks of September the 11th.
Some nutcases will argue that US history is replete with the US government committing gross crimes against humanity (Hiroshima, Nagasaki) and a litany of atrocities against its own people. But these cases are all hearsay. What proof do they have?
Blowing away a few to several hundred troublesome Americans matters to no one except conspiracy nuts and terrorists, right? I mean, if they are troublesome, they can't be "real Americans," anyway!)
We need to protect the children. We need to take guns out of the hands of the citizens and give it back to the government….
After all, history shows that the US government is our best protector. They’ve proven, without a doubt, again and again, that they will take care of us!
Thanks to my friend, David Kramer.