Previously by Richard Daughty: The Duck-Like Noise of a One-Legged Economy
I was in the living room, happily reading as the kids quietly watched a show on TV that was even more insipid than their usual choice of mesmerizing mindless pap.
I was thinking to myself, How pleasant! No noise! No strife! No arguing! No social workers telling me I have to do this for the kids, or do that for the kids, or stop doing this to the kids, or stop doing that to the kids!
Of course, this makes me think of having police cars lighting up the whole neighborhood with their many blinking lights and their banging on my door to investigate reports of a deranged old man who has been disrupting the peace by yelling at his neighbors that they were stupid for not buying gold, silver and oil as a strategy of desperation against the raging inflation that is Super Freaking Guaranteed (SFG) because of the creations of massive amounts of money by the Federal Reserve to finance buying the of massive amounts of T-bonds that pay for massive amounts of federal government deficit-spending!
Parenthetically, if this police-action thing ever happens to you, then here’s an Invaluable Mogambo Tip (IMT): Don’t say anything. Say nothing. Wait for a lawyer.
Do not respond with the truth and say, It’s true! The Federal Reserve is destroying the buying power of the dollar by simply creating so much of them, year after year, and the dollars are being jammed into the economy via astonishing, cataclysmic amounts of federal government deficit-spending, which means that ruinous, catastrophic, excruciatingly painful inflation in prices and economic collapse are 100% guaranteed, and thus it is true that anybody who doesn’t buy gold, silver and oil is doomed! Including my stupid neighbors!
Looking back on the whole sorry episode with the advantage of 20/20 hindsight, I can see that my mistake was in continuing on, donating my Valuable Mogambo Time (VMT) trying to be helpful and educational to the police, who I thought would appreciate me going out of my way for them. Try to be a nice guy, and look what happens to you!
The Road to Serfdom: T... Best Price: $3.06 Buy New $1.99 (as of 03:40 UTC - Details)
I say this because transcripts and recordings show, and thus I can prove, that I graciously and generously went on to patiently explain to them, You stinking, police-state, goon squad storm-troopers are here to silence the Mogambo Voice Of Truth (MVOT) as it rings out — loud as a bastard! — the truth, as is implied in the unforgettable acronym MVOT, which is that We’re Freaking Doomed (WFD)!
And we are doomed because of such massive, crushing debt, accumulated by people to buy massive amounts of final-user goods and consumption, and to foster a monstrous Frankenstein of an ever-inflating government-centric economy created by a calamitous continually deficit-spending federal government, a seemingly impossible feat made completely possible only by the calamitous, disastrous, treacherous Federal Reserve creating outrageous amounts of new money that will cause inflation in prices!
The transcript doesn’t show it, but it is at this point where everyone for blocks around was gathered outside, chanting, Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! at the police, and I could hear the kids whispering, Hear that, mom? They are going to shoot! and how they wanted to go outside, too!
Arrest-Proof Yourself:... Best Price: $2.49 Buy New $23.80 (as of 03:05 UTC - Details)
My wife whispers back, saying, But what if they miss? We had better just hide in the kitchen! which is where, I suddenly realize, the last piece of fried chicken was that I was saving for myself, and now somebody will eventually get the idea to look in the refrigerator, and they’ll see it, and they’ll decide to eat it, probably figuring that my bullet-riddled corpse would have no use for fried chicken, which, I have to agree, is impeccable logic. But still!
Anyway, the audio record shows that the crowd is now chanting, Shoot to kill! Shoot to kill! over and over while the cops are explaining that they can’t just shoot me because there are hostages in here with me, which surprised me, but I assume they mean the wife and kids hiding in the kitchen.
How to Disappear: Eras... Best Price: $2.80 Buy New $8.51 (as of 05:35 UTC - Details)
Meanwhile, I am clearly yelling through the door, It is an insane, disgusting, bizarre, despicable display of monetary and fiscal incest that always produces a mutant economy and inflation in prices, a destructive arrangement which can only be maintained by more — always more and more! — deficit-spending and money creation to maintain a constantly rising inflation, year after year, yea unto hyperinflation and total ruination!
I thought I had made a dramatic closing when I opened the door, stepped out into the bright, blinding glare of lights, threw my arms up and out in a grand gesture, and said, And all of this is manifestly, indisputably true because that is Exactly The Way (ETW) that it has worked out every time — and I mean Every Freaking Time (EFT)! — in the last 4,500 freaking years of history, which is a sad, sickening story of one corrupt government after another borrowing and spending, and borrowing and spending, and borrowing and spending until it had borrowed more than it could repay, and always for the suicidal, live-for-today privilege of temporarily enjoying the growth of a twisted, bloated, dysfunctional, government-centric economy, which the recognition of, and problems of, seem to be the sole province of the Austrian school of economics, which you dumb cops would know if you had ever been to mises.org and gotten a nice, free, easy education in the One True Economic Theory (OTET), instead of harassing a misunderstood prophet of doom, who is just trying to save his ungrateful and stupid neighbors from the inflationary, catastrophic doom of a corrupt government and a filthy Federal Reserve that is going to befall this country and its people, including you dumb cops!
Well, the police immediately settled down at the appearance of a seemingly incoherent, unarmed old man. And while they were hustling me away, you could hear me on the recording, my voice growing fainter and fainter, saying, So buy gold, silver and oil to protect yourselves, you morons! Gold, silver and oil! And if you don’t, then you actually are dumb cops, and about whom I implied as much at the end of the previous paragraph!
You can see that it is difficult to get the message out about buying gold, silver and oil as a defense against the government and Federal Reserve destroying us with overspending and over-creation of money, respectively.
But you will be happy to know that buying gold, silver and oil stocks is so easy that you will say, Whee! This investing stuff is easy!