A US Census Worker Came to My House Today

A US Census Worker Came To My Home Today — Poor Lady…

by Greg Perry by Greg Perry Recently by Greg Perry: You Just Bought a Gun? Whatever You Do, Don’tShootIt!

The US Senseless Bureau sent us the “short form” a couple of months ago. I answered the Constitutional question: How many people live at this address? I am such a nice guy that I felt compelled to fill out more than that to help them as much as I am able. So I also wrote the date in the date field.

The Forms Continue…

A couple of weeks after that we received the long form. Being a good American, I filled it out. “2” people living here. And yes, I even put the date.

A few weeks later, we got a second long form with a notice saying we were sent that one because we never returned the first one. So being a good American, I filled it out. “2” people living here. But since I am such an extremist, I decided not to put the date on that one. I can only be pushed so far you know.

The Calls Begin

A few weeks later we received a phone call from them but we were not home. They left a phone number and “case number” for me to give when I returned their call. I did not return the call. I figure I am too busy working for a living to pay 65% of our income in all the taxes and regulatory fees in life that I had no time or responsibility to return their call.

So they called again. We were not here. I truly would have answered and spoken to them if I had been here to answer the phone.

The Visits Begin

A week or so later, a note was left on our door stating a US Senseless “Worker” had been there but we were not home.

Today the doorbell rang. It was the US Senseless “Worker” and we were home!

(As an aside, I put quotations around “Worker” not because they are not working. Oh, if anything defines the term “government work” it is the US Senseless. But it’s a great term to emphasize to paint a picture of the Daily Worker newspaper published by the Communist Party. What a perfect name for both that paper and the US Senseless “worker.”)

The Interview

I asked her to wait a moment while I got my supplies. I shut the door and retrieved my portable digital recorder and a pen and paper.

I stepped outside — do not ever let a government “worker” in your home unless they have a warrant. (Dr. Gary North wrote a wonderful article about this a few years ago but I cannot locate it to give you the link. Calling Dr. North, can you help?)

I started the recorder and asked her for I.D. She showed me her US Senseless “worker” ID but I said I am familiar with driver’s licenses and asked for that. She went to her car and got it. I expected trouble at this point but she was easy to deal with. So am I but you already know I’m a pushover…

In front of her so there was no hint of doing anything sneaky, I wrote down her name, DL number, date of birth, and began writing down her address. She said she had moved and no longer lived at that address. Being a trusting man, I believed her.

She said, “Out of all interviews I have done you are the first one to ever ask me for ID. I think that is good.” I replied, “I think so too! I think anybody who is about to ask me a bunch of personal questions should first open her life’s vital details to me.”

I went onto say, “We have been reading horror stories about workers in your department doing horrible things to innocent citizens so one can’t be too careful these days.” She agreed.


She then asked me to verify the address she had for our home. She showed it to me and I agreed that was my address. What could be easier?

She asked how many people lived at our address. I said, “There are 2 people living at this address.”

She asked for the names of the two who live here. I said, “There are 2 people living at this address.”

She said, “I assume you are a male.” I said, “As you can see, I am really a male and there is absolutely never any question about that.” See, I didn’t think I needed to avoid an answer that has such an obvious answer already!

She asked if the other occupant was female and my wife or girlfriend. I said, “There are 2 people living at this address.” (I am always so polite. But you knew that already.)

She asked if anybody lived here who was Hispanic. Well, between you readers and me, nobody here is from Spain but I saw no reason to point that out to her. So I said, “There are 2 people living at this address.”

She asked me if there was any point in asking further questions on her form. I said, “Well, I never mind telling you there are 2 people at this address.”

She asked if I owned the home or rented. I replied, “Every home owner is forced by law to pay fees to have ownership and/or mortgage data recorded at the courthouse so the government will have that on record. Unless you will refund all the fees paid for this address then I would say that I would be thrilled if you would just get all that information from the records on file with your employer already.”

She looked through the rest of the form and said, “Is that about all I can do here?”

I said, “Well, according to your employer’s Constitution it is. But the 5th Amendment is such a nice clause, I can always mention it if you need more information.”

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