If you’ve received an e-mail announcing that the “Rev.” Al Sharpton is scolding Tiger Woods for the lack of racial diversity in his selection of mistresses – you should be able to tell by the satirical tone of the article and its level of ridiculousness that it is a spoof.
But, as all good satire does, it makes a point. It is a humorous critique of how our culture elevates racial quotas as a social good even over and against marital fidelity and personal honor and integrity – as well as how some people make a killing at being perpetually and professionally “offended.” There is just enough of a grain of truth in the attitude attributed to Mr. Sharpton to make the reader pause just for a second and say, “Hey, did he really say that?”
But before we dismiss the whole idea as beyond the pale, check out what was in our local paper (and maybe even yours as well) a few days ago: Here is a syndicated Op-Ed by Eugene Robinson of the Washington (Com?)Post. Note that Mr. Robinson’s piece, while it makes no mention of Al Sharpton, takes the same tack as the spoof: chastising Mr. Woods for (yes, indeed) the lack of diversity among his mistresses!
Mr. Robinson covers his, er, bases with the following mealy-mouthed lip service to the sanctity of marriage: “I’m not going to pronounce judgment on Woods’s moral fiber, except to state that adultery is bad.” Wow. That’s going out on a limb.
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But the meat of the article is an explanation of what really miffs Mr. Robinson:
“Here’s my real question, though: What’s with the whole Barbie thing?
No offense to anyone who actually looks like Barbie, but it really is striking how much the women who’ve been linked to Woods resemble one another. I’m talking about the long hair, the specific body type, even the facial features. Mattel could sue for trademark infringement….
But the world is full of beautiful women of all colors, shapes and sizes – some with short hair or almond eyes, some with broad noses, some with yellow or brown skin. Woods appears to have bought into an “official” standard of beauty that is so conventional as to be almost oppressive.”
There you have it. Oppressive Mistress Selection (OMS?) brought on by lack of diversity. The world has officially gone mad. It is not even competent to stand trial.
Is Robinson’s serious column really that far from the parody:
“The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods' harem will have a negative affect on the black community, specifically young black girls. ‘Why is it that a man who calls himself black can't bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?" said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem. "What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?'”
I believe the whole “diversity” thing is misguided.
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Just today at a large chain book store, I read their business creed posted on the wall. Their last thesis is something to the effect that they are committed to “diversity in the work force.” That’s their right as an employer, but as a customer, I have to admit that I would prefer “excellence in the work force.” If the clerk is friendly, helpful, and can get my books for me quickly, do I really care if she is Mongolian, lesbian, right-handed, or worships toads? If the barista keeps the line moving and puts a nice froth on a cappuccino, does it really matter if he’s Norwegian, missing a limb, or a devotee of the Meher Baba? I just don’t care. And isn’t that supposed to be the point of eliminating discrimination in the first place? Should I be bent out of shape that the friendliest clerk, who always recognizes me and jokes with me at the cash register is black and female? Should I complain that she doesn’t “look like me?”
But once again, the world has gone mad.
And the whole “diversity” thing is a misnomer. I went to the bank today to deposit a check. Since it is a busy time of year, there were nine teller windows open. All nine of the tellers were black women (which means Tiger apparently has three more mistresses than my bank has tellers…). Do I care about my bank’s ethnic demographic? Should I march in with a sign and protest the blatant lack of “diversity” in their work force?
I really don’t care as long as I get good service.
Apparently, Tiger Woods feels the same way about his, er, “friends.”
December 14, 2009