Gun Gab

Get Good With Gun Gab

by Greg Perry by Greg Perry


Always practice your response when asked why you carry a gun or what you think of gun control. Through the years several writers and enthusiasts have written great sound bites you can use. Gun people love to exchange gun-related effective statements that are funny, cut to the heart of gun control’s evil, promote freedom and defense, or all of the above.

Being armed emotionally and conversationally is almost as important as being armed with bullets that fly out your gun’s muzzle. The left thinks it owns the arguments. To be honest, many times it does because those who believe in freedom are often so caught up in day-to-day productivity and trying to make ends meet for their families that they don’t take time to hone arguments well. Hence, they don’t defend their faith and ideals well. The left, often with no families or real jobs and no prospects or dreams for either have more time to master debate skills.

You don’t need to be a great debater. Just knowing a few good lines when faced with the opportunity to say them puts your opponents off guard. Just arming yourself with some of the following statements will make a big difference the next time someone asks you why you carry a gun or the next time someone asks why you think you need a caliber as big as a .45.

Arm Yourself With These Lines

(If I don’t cite a source, either it’s a statement I wrote or one that was passed to me and I could not locate an original source.)

It used to be John Birch Society’s motto that "Truth is our only weapon!" Such a statement, while understandable, has problems. The truth is decisive and is a good weapon but it’s a passive weapon. You must be able to fight for your defense, your freedom, and ultimately perhaps fight to maintain control of your guns.

Have you noticed that lone gunmen never attack police stations or Israeli schools? (You might want to review, No Guns Allowed Signs Increase Murder.)

Every time our military has been in involved in any conflict, some of our own have been shot and killed. If trained military cannot 100% always successfully protect each other, how can we expect school security to protect us? How can we expect TSA workers (I use the term "workers" loosely…) to protect us? How can we expect typically bad shooters known as BATF or police officers to protect us?

Caliber-Related (Here’s Where Some Furious Emails Will Begin!)

  • Paraphrased and Modified from Cooper’s description of the .25: "If you must own a 9mm, keep it in a box so you don’t accidentally load it. If you do load it, don’t shoot it. If you do shoot it don’t hit someone. Because if you do hit someone and if he ever realizes he’s shot, he’s going to be angry!"
  • Nine-millimeters are all well and good until someone loses an eye.
  • As long as one doesn’t get into a gunfight, a 9mm is just fine. ~ Mark Moritz
  • Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a “4.”

Rules of Gunfighting

The absolute First Rule of a Gunfight, in Mark Moritz’ brilliantly enunciated aphorism, is “Have a gun!” The subsequent lines below help supplement that first rule:

  1. Have a gun.
    1. Preferably, have at least two guns.
    2. Bring all of your friends who have guns.
    3. Pack extra ammo
  2. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun… and a friend with a long gun.

When You Have to Shoot

  • Anything worth shooting is worth shooting two times, more if necessary. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive. ~ Gabe Suarez
  • (Revisited) Ammo is cheap and (your) life is precious — so be generous. And shoot your adversary to the ground. ~ Gabe Suarez
  • “Why didn’t I shoot only once? There’s no additional paperwork for shooting someone twice!” ~ Firearms Instructor P.O.J.D., MOS debriefing after a shooting.
  • "Why did I shoot him 7 times? Because 6 times wouldn’t have been enough and 8 would have been too many." ~ Massad Ayoob
  • When asked, "Why do you need a gun with 17 rounds?" you should gently reply, "In case I get attacked by 17 bad guys."
  • Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

(I believe the following all may have been said by Gabe Suarez.)

  • If your shooting stance is good, you’re probably not moving fast enough or using cover correctly.
  • Proximity negates skill. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
  • In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
  • If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading and running.
  • Someday someone may kill you with your own gun but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

Winning the Fight

  • Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose. ~ Colonel Jeff Cooper
  • If you find yourself equally matched in a fight, you didn’t plan your mission properly. ~ Paraphrased from Cooper
  • The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental. ~ John Steinbeck
  • Have a plan. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won’t work.
  • Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everybody else keep your hands where I can see them.)
  • The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get. ~ Cooper
  • A good general rule of thumb: Be polite. Be professional. But… have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
  • Be courteous to everyone. Friendly to no one.
  • Nothing handheld is a reliable stopper.
  • Carry the same gun in the same place all the time. ~ Cooper

Freedom Related

  • An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a victim.
  • A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
  • Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
  • Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control.
  • If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
  • If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
  • Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
  • If you don’t know your rights you don’t have any.
  • Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
  • The United States Constitution © 1791. All Rights Reserved.
  • What part of “shall not be infringed” do you not understand?
  • The Second Amendment is in place in case they ignore the others.
  • 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
  • Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Politicians. ~ Cooper
  • You don’t shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
  • Dialing 911 — government sponsored Dial a Prayer.
  • Assault is a behavior, not a device.
  • Criminals love gun control — it makes their jobs safer.
  • If guns cause crime, why do we want policemen to have them?
  • Enforce the “gun control laws” in place, don’t make more.
  • If you remove the people’s right to bear arms, you create slaves.
  • The American Revolution wouldn’t have happened with Gun Control.
  • If you know how many guns you own, you don’t own enough guns.
  • You can’t make an appointment to have an emergency so always have your firearm. ~ Cooper
  • Gun Inscription: Be not afraid of any man, no matter what his size. When danger threatens call on me, and I will equalize.
  • Always fire two warning shots into your attacker’s chest area before putting a bullet between his eyes. Paraphrased from Louis Awerbuck
  • Should be a required warning on every handgun: This handgun should only be used to enable you to get to your rifle which you should have had in hand before this firefight broke out.

Proper Responses to Why Do You Carry a Gun?

Q: Why do you carry a gun? A: In case I have to shoot somebody.

Q: Why do you carry a gun? A: For the same reason a policeman carries a gun.

Q: Why do you carry a gun? A: Don’t you?

Q: Why do you carry a gun? A: I’d rather be a gun owner than a crime victim.

Q: Why do you carry a gun? A: For the same reason I would never get on a boat without a life jacket.


  • Brandishing is a crime, and it’s dangerous (to you) and foolish. The threat you face should catch at least two rounds before he realizes you have a firearm. Never brandish your weapon. ~ Cooper
  • The Pacifist and the Gun: When the Quaker found the burglar in his living room filling the sack with the family silver, the Quaker declaimed with calm, respectful dignity, “Friend, not for the world would I harm a hair on thy head, but thee is standing exactly where I am about to shoot.” (From Gunsite Gossip)
  • Bumper Sticker: Fight Crime — Shoot Back (From Gunsite Gossip)
  • Quote from Blackjack Pershing: "If you know how to shoot, and are quite ready to shoot, the chances are that you won’t have to shoot." This is why trained, gun carriers are often the most calm people in a group.
  • Engraved on Sir Walter Scott’s blunderbuss muzzle: "When rogues appear, my voice you’ll hear!" (with folding spring bayonet no less!)
  • Waste enemies, not ammunition. ~ Mark Moritz
  • Good shooting is 90% of killing power. ~ Finn Agaard
  • Big brother is now here — and look, he is retarded. ~ Bob Bude
  • Judging by Waco and the Weavers, the feds are almost one hundred times more likely to kill an innocent person than a guilty one. ~ Jack Buchnmiller
  • The pen is mightier than the sword — except in a sword fight. ~ Eric Ching
  • The stars and stripes have no place to fly over a country where you have no right to bear arms. ~ Matt Egloff
  • A golf course is the willful and deliberate misuse of a perfectly good rifle range. ~ Paul Kirchner
  • Hits vary inversely in proportion to the number of rounds in the magazine. ~ Ronin Coleman
  • If no one is shooting at you, you have nothing to complain about. If someone is then shoot back. ~ Curt Rich
  • A free man is never unarmed. ~ Cooper

Interesting how liberals/”compassionate conservatives” prompt for safety devices to be installed on cars, but are against safety devices on weapons (e.g. silencers, pistol grips, flash hiders).

They say "violence begets violence" as if that’s a bad thing in half the cases. In the words of Jeff Cooper, I would certainly hope that it does. Self-defense means meeting violence with an immediate, direct, and more violent response. This also holds true for nations, such as America, who attacked back and with the greatest force in WWII. The proper response for unprovoked and unjustified violence is harsher violence. Such a response neutralizes the threat (see Germany and Japan today) whereas a meek response to violence (Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq) produces a continued violent disrespect. (No matter your stance on the current Iraq war, this still holds true.)