Forget all that nonsense about the voters making up their own minds this election day. The great success of the Age of Reason has caused every winner to explain his victory as: “Because I'm the right man for the job!”

The truth is, the human neocortex comes in a distant third to the other parts of the brain, i.e., the “seat of the emotions” limbic system and the deeper reptilian brain. Here, it's all about hormonal perceptions, particularly, perceived levels of testosterone in candidates for the alpha position.

We're civilized enough to elect our alphas these days, but we haven't lost the language of combat. Military service is a requirement for a presidential candidate to be taken seriously. They're not reliving Vietnam, they're describing their personal ability to dominate. These politicians “battle” for us. They “fight for” our rights (with missiles of hot air). These “dedicated men will never back down.” They wear “power ties” and even female politicians wear “power suits.” Hyperbole? Perhaps if only a few of the lackey press use this terminology, but when it's so ubiquitous, one wonders why.

What with the expectation, nay, the demand that “leaders” own the lion's share of testosterone, the electorate is not only unsurprised by bad sexual behavior, but see it as happy validation that their pet politician is the true alpha. It's why both men and women excused Clinton and love Arnold.

Was it really just clever campaign strategy that won the governorship for Jesse “The Body” Ventura – the only 3rd-party candidate to do so? I think not.

I suggest that the next time we libertarians run a presidential candidate, we drop the intellectual talk about what the Constitution means, and go for the gusto.

Let's run Clint Eastwood. Nobody has more testosterone than good old Dirty Harry.

November 4, 2004

Fran Van Cleave [send her mail] is a pharmacist and a science fiction writer for Analog Science Fiction & Fact and Artemis Magazine. See her website.