2004 – The Year of The Monkey – Disaster or Heavenly Delight?

Have you ever felt like your life is just one big set of ups and downs? You have no control over your future and you are at the whims and wishes of those around you? You just can't seem to get your sights on your goals on what you really want because you, yourself, don't know exactly what it is that would make you happy? You feel as though your entire existence is but like a leaf on the ocean being blown to and fro'?

I have felt this way many times too. This is one of the reasons I moved to the Far-East in the first place, so that I may someday gain the wisdom of the true masters. So that I may someday hold in my hand the key that unlocks the door to the mysteries of the soul. You know, kind of like that "Grasshopper" guy in Kung-Fu.

Not only have I been worried about the 2004 presidential elections, I have been fretting about my life and what's going to happen to me in the future. My Japanese wife on the other hand, is always very calm and collected – it's like she already knows what's going to happen before it actually does. She doesn't seem to get worried or upset over anything.

As I was gazing out of my apartment window over the landscape as the falcon surveys the field, my wife said: "What are you doing?"

"I am worried about the future!" I replied. She smirked: "Look if you are just going to mope around the house all day doing nothing, why don't you go downtown and have your fortune told?"

"That superstitious stuff is all nonsense!" I said.

"Oh really? What about the time the Chinese man read your palm and told you that you would get that job you were sure you weren't going to get? What about that?"

"He just got lucky!" I countered.

"Aren't you the one who is always complaining about Western cultural imperialism? Well the Chinese have been around for a very long time and it looks like they are going to still be here for a very long time to come. Maybe they know something that you don't?"

"Ah! Wise words from one so young!" I said. But in my mind I actually thought:

"Shut up, woman!" So I headed out the door and down to the train station… I hate it when my wife is always right.

I stopped by a bookstore to grab a book on the Chinese Zodiac so I could go and talk to the fortune teller and not sound like a rank amateur and wind up with him charging me extra for nothing. I read the book on the subway train. The year 2004 is the Year of the Monkey on the Chinese Zodiac calendar. The Chinese calendar is broken up into twelve parts, much like the Zodiac we use in the West. Each part of the Chinese Zodiac is named for a certain animal. Your fortune can be told by matching what your birth year animal is and whether or not it is compatible with the animal of the current year.

Okay. 2004, the Year of the Monkey…. People born in the Year of the Monkey are always alert, creative and playful. They are very sociable and have an active outside life. Monkeys are sympathetic. They forgive, but never forget. They wait their turn and once they decide to do something, nothing can stop them from achieving a goal….

Wait a minute! Then it dawned on me; the Year of the Monkey? I have heard people dissin' George W. Bush by calling him a chimpanzee! Could 2004 be the year for George W. Bush? Could we be headed for total disaster in 2004? A cold sweat began to run down my forehead. I read on;

Monkeys never make a move without a plan. They are great strategists. Monkeys are intellectual, and they have incredible memories. Monkeys are good at making people comfortable. They are the ultimate diplomats. Inherently brainy, they never fail….

"Hey this doesn't sound like George W. Bush at all!…. I knew this was nonsense!" But then I remembered; the important part of the Chinese Zodiac is a person’s birthdate matched up with the current year! I found that George W. Bush was born in 1946….Howard Dean in 1948, …Wesley Clark in 1944. I wondered how these would all match up with the Year of the Monkey?

I got off the train and headed for a place on the street where many old Chinese people do fortune telling. Like I said, I don't put too much faith in this stuff, but I always go to the same guy cause he's batting something like 1.000%. I walked into his booth and bowed my head in reverence. The smell of Jasmine incense wafted through the air.

"Ah, you worry about the future?" He smiled.

"How…How did you know, oh great master?" I asked.

"Why else would you be here?" He had me there. Not only was the guy clairvoyant, he had some common sense too.

"How may I pass some wisdom onto you, my son?" He wistfully sang.

"I have the birthdates of some friends and I wanted to know if you could tell me what the new year brings for them, master."

"What are the dates?"

"Well, first off, 1946. What will the new year bring for those born in that year?"

"1946? The Year of The Dog." He replied as he reached down to pour tea. "And would your friend's name happen to be George?" He smiled. I was speechless. He paused then continued: "The person born in the Year of the Dog will have a very bad year. For the dog and the monkey do not get along together well. Even though the monkey is more intelligent than the dog, the dog will keep his loyalty and will fight with the monkey to the very end. People born in the Year of the Dog are selfish, terribly stubborn, and often eccentric. They are cold emotionally and often distant. As monkeys are very friendly and open, a dog will not do well at a party held by a monkey."

"Wow! Then George W. Bush is u2018toast'." I thought. "But wait a minute. Someone still has to beat Bush." I asked: "How about my other friend, his name is Howard. He was born in 1948. How will this new year shine fortune upon him like the sun shimmers upon a lake, master?" I started really getting into this.

"1948? The Year of The Rat. Those born in the Year of the Rat will fare quite well during the party of the monkey. Those born during the Year of The Rat are quite charming and attractive to the opposite sex. They are basically thrifty with money. Their ambitions are big and they are usually successful. As the monkey entertains guests, the rat will scurry around, picking up bits of food and keeping the monkey's house clean. The rat will not compete with the monkey for the attention of the guests. Hence they will compliment each other quite well. People born in the Year of the Rat are most compatible with people born in the Years of the Dragon, the Ox, and the Monkey…." I felt like jumping for joy! I interrupted the master and asked, "And what of the year 1944?"

The master frowned at me and said, "Why do you tip the vessel of knowledge as it fills your cup?"

"I'm sorry, master….forgive me. I have another friend, his name is Wesley. And I was just wondering…"

"1944? I have already told you what it is you need to know. For 1944 is the Year of the Monkey also. Do you think that monkeys are not compatible with each other?"

I felt stupid. Of course, all I had to do was look it up in the book.

That's it folks. It's as good as decided! Next year is the Year of the Monkey! George Bush is a dog. Dogs and monkeys don't mix. Dean, a rat, is sitting pretty. Clark, another monkey, is already waiting at the party. My problems were solved!

I paid the old guy a couple thousand yen and as I was walking out I said, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot to ask you about me! What about a person born in the Year of the Rooster for the Year of the Monkey? How's is the year 2004 going to be for me, oh great wise one?"

The old man carefully folded the money and put it into his cash box. Then he looked at up me, put out his open hand and said:

"The Rooster and the Monkey?… Hmmm, who knows?" As he smiled that knowing grin.

December 31, 2003