Dubious offers are being circulated from alleged public officials!
As a public service, I’m attaching a widely circulated scam you may have seen on the Internet. While it purports to benefit its recipients, it is actually a clever scheme to rob them. While most victims have been elderly and feeble-minded, many who should know better have let themselves be suckered due to rampant emotionalism. Please pass this warning along to those you think may have fallen for this, and explain to them that these scams, though propagated by the Internet, are as old as human civilization.
URGENT PLEASE READ!
A MOST CONFIDENTIAL AND VITAL PROPOSITION FOR YOU!
To: American patriot
From: George W. Bush, American Top Gun Hero and Beloved President
I regret any initial embarrassment my letter might cause you, as we have not had any correspondence before this time. My name is George W. Bush, and am the son of George Herbert Walker Bush, the elected president of the United States of America. In my capacity as the legally elected successor to my father, I am contacting you with a proposition that will be beneficial to the both of us.
You may have heard that terrorists stalk our land of the free. They want to use horrible weapons of mass destruction that can be entrusted to no one but me and nations that are friendly to me. It is my desire and responsibility to protect you from these terrible people who hate us because of our freedoms.
Here is my proposition to you: if you can provide me with the permission and the keys to enter your home and place of business without a warrant, and to monitor your emails and the web sites you visit, and to strip your American citizenship and subject you to deportation (if you are lucky), or to the execution cells at Guantanamo Bay, conveniently located in Cuba, then I will be able to protect you from the forces of evil which are even today everywhere in our great country. Only these measures which you will happily and patriotically accept will ensure your continued freedom and happiness. Trust me.
Please contact me as a matter of urgency to enable us to implement these vital actions that only have your best interests in mind. Please do treat this as highly confidential, so do not talk to anti-American reporters from those Internet web sites. I would not want you to do anything that could jeopardize our mutually beneficial relationship of ruler and subject, which makes us both very fulfilled and prosperous.
Best Regards, George W. Bush, American Top Gun Hero and Beloved President
June 30, 2003
Michael C. Tuggle [send him mail] is a project manager and e-commerce consultant in Charlotte, NC. His first book, Confederates in the Boardroom, explores the implications of organizational science on political systems, and will be published by Traveller Press in June, 2003.